Kenya Trip

I find that my natural tendency when going through my days is to live them very carefully. I am not a risk taker by nature--in fact, comfort, security and ease are high on my list. I gravitate towards events that do not take me out of my comfort zone.

All that said, those things do not make me happy and fulfilled. I like to be pushed out of that hum drum life--but only after the fact.

For example, I could easily spend a day lounging around home, watching country videos on YouTube, stalking--I mean checking out friends on Face Book, or googling Jon and Kate to see what the real deal is, etc.

I gravitate towards things that don't take any relational, physical, spiritual or social risk, but I am not fulfilled by these things.

Which brings me to the reason why I am writing this--yesterday it dawned on me that Nora and I are actually going to Kenya in 5 weeks. We have just been working, saving, etc. towards going for so long, that I think I was able to put it on the shelf--you know, the box marked "Kenya Mission Trip"--thinking that I might take it down someday...or I might not.

Well, the 6 shots in the arm are completed, the anti-malarial medicine is bought, the finances have been provided (Thank you, God) and the tickets are in our names.

This is definitely not one of those 'ease of life' activities that falls into where I naturally 'hang out."

The reason that I am not fulfilled when I go through the motions--and don't step out of the comfort level, is that I was not made to live life in this hum drum manner. Living like that requires no faith whatsoever--it's not really living.

So the other day as I realized I was really going to go--God willing--I started feeling a bit of anxiety. Uncertain--unknown makes me nervous. I like to know what to expect. I like to predict how I will react and what feelings I will experience. All that said, I LIKE to live my life that way, but it doesn't make me happy. Does that make any sense to anyone other than me?

I'll keep you posted...