LESS of me

Resurrection in May

2010-09-09T14:36:00.002-05:00

I just finished a book from the blogger book club that I am in--and it was fiction for a change. I really recommend the book, because it made me take a mirror to my own life. Resurrection in May is a novel authored by Lisa Samson.

Revolving around the main character, May, we are able to witness the transformation from frivolous, self-centered young woman to contemplative, God-loving soul. In between, May travels to Africa on a missions trip, and witnesses severe tragedy that wounds her deeply and puts her into an emotional, social, and spiritual coma for years.

Through the unassuming love of the people God puts in her path, and the beauty of a secluded farm and animals, May slowly comes back to "life."

She must choose between trying to protect her wounded heart from further sorrow and living a life that includes loving and vulnerability.

While questioning the evil that surrounded her in Africa and why it was allowed by a loving God, May chooses to give up and become a hermit. She was challenged by a loving friend, "You can't accept that. You participate in making things better. The only way we can see how
God works is when we join in."

The way I see it is that everyday I make a choice to choose life or hopelessness. Am I watching where God is working around me and joining Him, or am I living a life that revolves around my selfish endeavors?

How's Your Heart?

2010-09-02T08:58:00.004-05:00

The word "heart" is used 75 times in the book of Proverbs. That is what Beth Moore told Hannah and me as we were working through an online study this morning.

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Whether we like it or not, our heart is a wellspring, and whatever is in it will spew out constantly on our surroundings and unsuspecting 'victims.' My heart is dangerous--not only to myself, but especially to others.

Other translations of the Hebrew word translated "wellspring" are exit, boundary, source, outgoings and my favorite ISSUES. Just take a moment and substitute each of these words for wellspring in the verse above. They each speak to me in a different way--and add to my understanding.

We were challenged by this question--"How is your heart?" I had to think about that one. Who or what does my heart really belong to? In my head, I would tell you that the answer, of course, is Jesus. But what do my actions say? What does the 'spewage' (not a word--but very descriptive!) communicate?

Have I really given Him my heart--or am I still protecting it. Not really trusting God with the most precious, personal and dearest part of me. Our heart is our deepest treasure.

It is the most difficult thing for me to surrender to Him. At first glance, it may seem that it may be harder to surrender other areas in my life--children being utmost, husband, dreams, health, etc--but the reality is, that it is my heart that I am afraid will be broken. I just don't trust Him completely.

What if I surrender wholeheartedly my heart to God, and something tragic in my life occurs to those I deem most precious? Can I still trust that the God who I've given my heart to is worthy of that love-- that He will heal and bind that heart and that He is truly a good God that will work all things for my good?

I have grown leaps and bounds with that trust--and I know the right answers in my head, but I must admit I still wrestle in my heart.

I'm thinking that surrendering my heart--giving it to Him completely is not a one time shot. Maybe it's more like 're-gifting,' over and over, a million times a day, if necessary, whenever I feel it creeping and crawling, sometimes running, away from Him.

Small World

2010-09-01T09:42:00.003-05:00

One of the greatest blessings about serving, while on a missions trip, is the change in my perspective, that inevitably happens. No longer am I able to think in sweeping generalizations, like "those African children." Those generalizations are transformed from a vague video in my mind of starving children to faces and names of individuals I have had the privilege to hug, play,laugh and worship with. Oh--what a blessing.

As I went to Kenya for the second time--the best part was to build on relationships that were started the previous year. Oh--what sweet reunions when my eyes met those eyes that I had not seen in 365 days.

The world has become a much smaller place, and in that understanding, God has continued to teach me how big He is. Stephen Curtis Chapman wrote a song entitled, "Yours" that sums it all up and wraps my thoughts in a neat, succinct package. (If that's even possible!)

I walk the streets of London
and notice in the faces passing by
something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
as I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
and they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing
of a God who heals and rescues and restores
and I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything
It’s all Yours

I'm a processer--and I've been mulling. I'm also a procrastinator--and I've been procrastinating. So, between either the processing and/or the procrastination, I have not taken the time to notice and solidfy how God is working and how He used Kenya to change me. I need to get on that.

Kenya

2010-07-30T13:07:00.002-05:00

I am going to try to continue the blog that was previously posted at ">http://frcckenyatrip2010.blogspot.com/. We had a day of R and R--before we start a busy part 2 schedule to our trip. Relaxing on the beach this morning, I caught up on my reading and had an awesome time with God as I overlooked the Indian Ocean. As big as the ocean is, our God is so much bigger and it humbles me each time I am by the sea.

Most of us walked to Ule's--which will be familiar to the rest of the group that is home. They have better ice cream than Culver's! We shared a pizza--a Margarita pizza- (sliced tomatoes and cheese) and chips (french fries). And the ice cream flavor that is the best? Dulce Latte--just caramel ice cream with a lot of goo in it!!)

Before eating, we decided to take a walk out to sea--as the tide was very low. As we walked, we were confronted by two Kenyans that wanted to take us on a "Sea Safari" and show us many creatures. We told them that we wanted to walk on our own--and they persisted as in not uncommon here!! At first, it was annoying, but after awhile we went with it, after we told them that we had no money to give them afterwards. "John" and "Ben" found a sea spider (looked kind of like a starfish with tentacles), sea cucumber, octopus eggs, sea urchins, sea anenome with cute little clown fish swimming around. They invited us to hold many of the creatures and we put our finger in the sea anenome and it closed around it!

During the walk, I had some good discussion with the men as they shared the facts. I found out that John lived near our school at Bomani and that he was a christian. Ben said he believed in God--but was not a christian, so that spurred on some good conversations. Afterwards, I went up to my room--retrieved a few hundred in shillings, along with a Bible, a couple of granola bars and the gospel tract--(given to me by Grace, from Texas!, along with a happy meal toy for John's daughter. I was able to share the tract with the men--and they read it out-loud. Ben said he understood--hopefully that is true!

Brooke and Nora did some intense bartering along the sea shore as they saw a scarf and purse they wanted. They used t-shirts, pens and McDonald's toys to make a fair trade! Ask Nora to see her scarf when we get back!

The acrobats that had performed at Crossroads Fellowship Church nearly a week ago, recognized Brooke on the beach, and called out her name! We have been humbled many times during this trip as Kenyan's memory for details is far superior to ours!

Going to bed now--busy day tomorrow as we have a Super Saturday for a school that is near Crossroads Academy in Vipingo. (A Super Saturday is much like a day of VBS at home.)

It is very strange here without the rest of our team. We miss you all--and am so thankful that you made it home, safe and sound. Family and Friends--miss you, and see you soon!

I AM

2010-04-24T00:11:00.002-05:00

I have been studying the names of God--because the true grounds for peace and comfort is to be found only in the sort of God we have, and in Bible language, name always means character. Names were always given to describe the character or work of the person named. So as we study His names, we learn more about who God is--and as I do that, I am able to trust Him more freely.

The name that fascinates me the most is I AM. "I AM" includes everything the human heart longs for and needs.

Exd 3:14 God said to Moses, "I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

John 8:58 "I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!"

For example, if I am distraught--Jesus says, "I am your comforter." Scared? "I am your protector." Tired and weak? "I am your strength."

This unfinished name of God is like a blank check signed by a rich friend. It is given to us to be filled up with whatever sum we desire. The whole Bible tells us what it means. Search the Bible and look for all of the names of God. That is who He is--and that is how we finish His name, I AM.

When I focus on my own 'I am's'--I am a loser, I am a liar, I am weak, I am a fool, I am selfish, I am a bad mom/wife/friend--my spiritual ears are unable to hear His glorious, soul-satisfying I AM.

If I focus on all that I am--rather than God's I AM, I am miserable and as I ignore the blank check of God's character, I live a defeated life.

I am--a child of the great I AM. That's pretty much all you need to know about me.

But I am motivated to search out the other names of God that finish this name, to find out who He is. I AM pretty much covers everything, don't you think. He is our ALL!

Spring and Grace

2010-04-05T20:31:00.003-05:00

What is it about spring time, getting my hands in the dirt, pulling out weeds and hoping to get the whole root, that gets my spiritual analogy juices going. God just speaks to me when I am outside in His creation--it is when I worship Him the most freely and feel the closest to Him.

Today was another bonus, nice day--the kind we don't often get in Wisconsin, during the rainy month of April. (Now, as I type--we are getting our April showers and grass greening lightning. Thank you, God.) But today was one of those days where the sun and warmth just begs for me to get out in the flower beds--and I was blessed with a non-busy day for a change!

Working in the garden today correlated with a chapter entitled Growth, in the book I am loving, The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, written by Hannah Whitall Smith, in 1880 or some year close to that.

As Christians, sometimes we understand that our salvation is by faith alone, but when it comes to our righteousness, or changing more like Him, we like to take things in our own hands--or at least I do. I try-try-try to be more like Him. I work-work-work to possess the fruits of the Spirit.

How's that working for me, you ask? Ummm--not so good. It is like trying to plant a flower in rocky soil. Even though I do all the right things--watering it, putting it out in the sunlight, fertilizing the stones, etc., it's just not going to grow very well. That flower needs to be put in good soil.

I am like that flower, but my good soil is God's grace. When I grow in grace, I put my 'growing' into the hands of God, and leave it with Him--"to grow as the babes or lilies grow without care or anxiety. He who planted us has planted a growing thing and has made us on purpose to grow."

"The slightest barrier between my soul and Christ may cause me to dwindle and fade as a plant in a cellar, under a bushel, or rooted in rocky soil. Bask in the sunshine of His love. Drink of the waters of His goodness. Keep my face upturned to Him."

Flowers naturally turn towards the sun--in the morning, they are facing east, late afternoon?--west. Isn't it awesome the lessons that His creation teaches us, if we just take the time to notice?

I grow in the rich soil of grace when I am spending time with Him, when I realize that I am unconditionally loved--no matter what good or bad things I do, and when I abide in Him, and say a continual YES to My Father's will.

Finally--check out how Miss Whitall Smith described GRACE.

"Grace is the unhindered, wondrous, boundless love of God, poured out upon us in an infinite variety of ways, without stint or measure, not according to our deserving but according to His measureless heart of love. Put together all the tenderest love you know of--the deepest you have ever felt and the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you--and heap upon it all the love of all the loving human hearts in the world, and then multiply it by infinity, and you will begin perhaps to have some faint glimpses of the love and grace of God."

Awesome...

The Problem With Feelings...

2010-03-24T19:10:00.004-05:00

I have a struggle at times when I pray. My words 'feel' as if they are bouncing off the ceiling and not really going anywhere. Sometimes, I 'feel' as if I am talking to myself and wonder if God is really listening; it's as if God is vague and not concrete. I can't see Him. I can't touch Him. I can not 'feel' Him.

The huge error in my thinking is that my 'feelings' are not reliable, and faith has nothing to do with them, whatsoever. My focus is inward--I can't see, I can't touch, I can't feel. I, I, I. Faith is believing, regardless of our feelings and regardless of any earthly outcome. Faith's focus is on God--and the truth of who and what He is.

As a conversationalist, I am not so good at chit-chat, and if you have ever spent time talking to me, you will soon realize that I feel much more comfortable asking questions--then I can get you to talk! Sometimes it can be used to deflect off of me, but most of the time, I just am truly intrigued by stories, and how God is woven through each and every one's life.

Maybe I need to use that tactic when talking to God. Spend way more time listening, asking questions, and less time rattling on and on--wondering if He is really listening. (He is--that's a fact and my feelings can never change that.)

Proof--taken straight from God's letter to us that supercedes any feelings that might be lying and deceiving-

1John 5:14,15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of him.

Focus on Marriage--Francis Chan

2010-02-27T18:36:00.002-06:00

For quite awhile, Mark and I were quite burned out on anything "marriagey"--we felt as if we had had our fill on marriage bible studies, marriage conferences, marriage small groups, etc. I am not implying that we felt like we had it figured out--nothing could be further from the truth, just had a 'been there, done that' attitude.

After attending the simulcast at church, Focus on Marriage, I am overflowing and blessed with an abundance of information, and knowing that I am really good with acquiring info, but not so good with application, I want to rehash as I blog--hoping that some of that info will really settle in and find a home in me! So this may be part 1 of many.

Francis Chan spoke on the importance of our commitment to God--and how that affects our marriages. He stated, "God created us for purpose--not just to have happy little lives, with happy marriages and happy little kids." Nothing wrong with all of that--but I can't strive for that alone. I need to focus on my relationship with Jesus.

"The answer...isn't a list of do's and don'ts, it's falling in love with God."

"We need to love each other eternally--focusing on our meeting with God." So if I am more worried about Mark as a husband to me, more than I am concerned about him as a servant of God, my perspective is all wrong.

Chan put it all in perspective by reminding me that someday, my time on this world will end, and I will spend eternity with my Lord--and Mark will spend eternity with his Lord.

Another interesting thought--"If there is conflict in our marriage, there is conflict in our relationship with God."

Veggie Tales and Fear

2010-02-16T23:24:00.002-06:00

Through my life, fear has been a companion of mine--not a friend, but more like a ball and chain.

At times, fear has immobilized me--kept me from going to the places God has wanted me to go, and/or saying the things He has wanted me to say. It has wasted my days--dragged me down, so I missed the joy and peace that my Lord wanted me to receive.

When God has freed me of that fear, my life feels like a prisoner's reprieve and a soaring eagle, all wrapped up into one joyous package. Freedom from fear--fear of cancer, fear of the death of a loved one, fear of what others think, fear of failure, and on and on--is the life that God intended me to live when He became the Lord of my life, Savior of my eternity, and forever Friend.

Today--I was reminded of that consuming fear that controlled my life for so long. As I was helping with childcare for Mom-time at church, I watched as a little guy, about 4 years old, experienced fear. We played a DVD for the last few minutes before the moms came for pick-up, and it happened to be a Veggie Tales movie.

For some reason, our little guy was terrified as soon as the Larry and Bob started doing their thing. He stood in front of the TV--with terror filled eyes (I am not exaggerating), screamed, and refused to look away.

I urged him to look at me, rather than at the TV. As he sat on my lap, I turned the rocking chair the opposite way--and he turned his head to look around the chair so he could stare at the TV and be petrified. I grabbed a book, and said, "Samuel, look at the book. Don't look at the movie."

He just kept looking at the thing that scared him the most. And that is exactly what I used to do. I looked at the scary thing--rather than at the God who would always be with me and never leave me, no matter what the circumstance.

When Samuel kept looking at the talking vegetables, even though they terrified him, it was exactly like me--looking at my worse case scenarios that I concocted in my head.

This is the verse that God used to begin freeing me from the ball and chain of fear, and it all began with my thoughts--and my focus.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

2010-02-13T22:22:00.001-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day

Where Is God?

2010-01-23T14:45:00.002-06:00

As I look back at my life, while experiencing difficulties, I know I have asked the question "Where is God?" That is why this book, written by John Townsend, interested me--and I chose it from the Thomas Nelson Blogger Club.

When I go through difficult times--I need some answers. When those that I love struggle--I want to be able to point them in the right direction, while providing hope at the same time.

"You will be most successful in a tough life when you come to a point in which you place your trust in God's unseen care rather than what you see around you. Faith is the only way to keep difficult times from causing you to despair or give up."--Townsend

This book provides a firm foundational support, along with practical 'helps' when going through rough times.

Faith is trusting that an unseen God is constantly at work in our situation--and that He has our best interest at all times. Faith requires humility--"I may not know what is best for me--but He will turn this bad situation into something good, most often that is manifested in our spiritual relationship with Him.

Here are a few practical hints that I gleaned from the book.

--Stay in relationship--not only with God, but with others who care about you--especially during tough times. As stress increases, increase structured support. "Find your people and let them in!"

--Mark the experience--When God shows up and prayers are answered, celebrate, speak about it, journal and memorialize it. When we dwell on things that God has done for us in the past, our faith grows. We then KNOW He will come through for us in the future. This helps create a relational history.

--Move beyond a relationship with God based on 911 calls--although necessary at times, God wants to have a relationship that is not based on necessity and obligation. Move out of the 'have to spend time with God' and into the relationship of 'want to spend time with my Father.'

That last point is a 'biggie' for me. I was really forced to evaluate my attitude concerning my Quiet Times with God. Is it based more on 'Have tos and Shoulds' and guilt then being thrilled to spend time with my Creator, Father and Best Friend. No relationship thrives when we feel we have to spend time with someone--He is not shaking His fist at me--demanding my time. He waits patiently for me to come to Him. Love is not forced.

Hearts for Haiti

2010-01-14T23:06:00.002-06:00

When catastrophes and calamities strike, a hopeless feeling can come over me. What can I do? If only I could...bring over an orphan, travel to Haiti, supply a million dollars worth of supplies, etc. After I realize that those options aren't possible, I am tempted to throw my hands up in the air, and resolutely decide that my 'job' is to pray. Oh to be a prayer warrior for Haitians--there is no other role more important than to join the front lines on the spiritual battlefield of despair.

But there is no need to stop there--maybe we can all ask ourselves, "What can I do--in my corner of the world to help those in need?"

I have a sweet, sweet friend who took up that charge--looked at what skills she had, and used them for the heartbroken. Laura has a heart as big as I have ever witnessed, and not only that, she is brave and unafraid to step out and DO SOMETHING! I get big ideas--but often times, they stop right there, as they suffer in the 'follow-through.'

Here is Laura. She decided to make Valentines Day cards, and sell them at the local Pick-n-Save on Saturday, with all funds going to those in need. I was so privileged to do a little paper cutting and gluing beside her. So you see, she is the brains, supplier, initiative, and inspiration behind this whole gig.

As we did our jobs, I couldn't help noticing how each and everyone contributed in their own special way. Mavis is always so encouraging and willing to do whatever task is asked of her. She is my big sister--I have looked up to her for a lot of years and plan on doing so for many more!

Sam was in charge of making envelopes. No nonsense--in a room full of women--he folded and glued, not once distracted by a possible new design. "Is this heart too big for this card?" I believe FOCUS is his middle name. And thanks, Sam, for taking time out of your envelope folding business so that I could take your pic!

There seems to be two categories of people when a creative product is being processed, there are the creative, artsy-fartsy dreamers, and the 'just get it done' types. Some are a little of both--depending on the mood, the project, is it before or after lunch, etc. Jessie and Hannah fall into that category. They can work both sides of the fence.

These two, Nora and Abbey fall on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Designing what papers look good together are a lot more fun for Nora than actually putting the card together. And Abbey? She was cranking out those cards Nora designed almost as fast as Nora was moving on to a new design--because frankly, she was rather bored with the old one already!!

As I was writing this post, thinking about the strengths of each card-maker, I thought of those Haitians. God has given each and every one of those individuals, the ones who have cried more tears in the last two days then maybe they have in their whole life, strengths and abilities. They too, are different and special from each other. Each special broken heart, needs hope in this terrible situation to be able to become all God created them to be.

Let's just do what we can do--as small and little as it may seem, to keep their hope alive. If you get creative for Haiti, I would love to hear about it. But most importantly, let's fall on our knees, praying for redemption and hope, and may we never just shut the TV off, and go on with our own lives.

Resolutions Just Don't Work For Me!

2010-01-05T00:06:00.005-06:00

"Good habits are not made on birthdays, nor Christian character at the New Year. The workshop of character is everyday life. The uneventful and commonplace hour is where the battle is lost or won." --Maltbie Babcock

New Years resolutions are on everyone's mind. I wish mine from the past had magically changed me--and I could say that I had completed all of them successfully. Eat way more vegetables--CHECK. Read my Bible more than I watch TV--CHECK. Less Computer time--CHECK. Organize my meals each week--CHECK.

Nope--can't really say CHECK on any of the above. I just don't think I operate very well using the resolution technique to change my life.

The problem for me is that it is so all or nothing. If I mess up--just one day out of the year--I feel as if I have failed. And if I have failed, I feel like giving it all up.

A better way for me is to look at my life through God's eyes--rather than through the grid of the "all-or-nothing" grid of the resolution. God looks for progress, never expecting perfection, but success comes in progression.

I guess that is why I like the quote that I copied and pasted above. Someday, my character will not be based on the resolutions that I made and later failed. Rather than making rules for myself that I can never keep, I hope to walk more with God--each second of the day, so that I can show grace to those He puts in my path, extend forgiveness when it seems humanly impossible, take care of my body each moment when I know I shouldn't be eating through my anxieties and stresses, and spend time with the Lord--not because I have made a rule at the beginning of the year, but for the sole reason that I just want to spend time with my Father who loves me.

My New Year's Resolution? Walk with God each moment of this year, 2010, and when I don't, and I mess up?--yes, this will happen umpteen times--look to God, ask for His forgiveness, and continue forward.

Winter Snow

2009-12-13T18:38:00.002-06:00

Luke 2:6
While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Friends went to the Chris Tomlin concert, and afterwards, I listened in as they recapped it. One of the highlights was a song called Winter Snow, sung by Audrey Assad. I looked it up on YouTube--found it.

The next day we had a snowfall of 10 inches or so. Tuesday night, when Mark and I came outside after our journey group--(Home teams), the snow falling was so beautiful, with huge snowflakes silently falling onto everything.

I recalled the song I had looked up earlier in the day. In the song, Jesus's arrival on earth was likened to a gentle, quiet snowfall. Isn't that amazing--the God of the universe, the creator of you and me, who has more power in His little pinky than we could ever witness or imagine, chose to arrive in a quiet, obscure, humble way.

I hate to say it, but if I was God--and I was coming to earth to save humankind--I would have chosen an arrival with fanfare and "Hey, Look at me--I am coming to save you wretched little humans. How dare you not notice my arrival!" (I am very thankful that He is God--and I am not.)

I don't know about you, but one of my biggest weaknesses is my need to be noticed. "Hey, I did something good here--check it out!" Humbleness, not so much.

So that is why it is so amazing that God was so very patient--knowing His time to be revealed would come later, in His perfect plan.

The Almighty, All-Powerful God chose to contain Himself in the most helpless being possible, and He chose to make His arrival in a humble barn, with animals being the first to see Him in person.

That is truly a Christmas miracle. Check out the song I was writing about earlier. I will never look at snow the same way again.

He Just Wants to Spend Time With You!

2009-12-04T11:00:00.003-06:00

Last night, while I was breaking bread and eating soup at Panera's with a dear friend, she shared the truth with me that God desires relationship with me over the trivial activities that I do for Him.

As we looked out the window and watched the snow falling to the ground, we laughed at the comparison of ourselves to little ants, busily hurrying and scurrying around DOING 'great' things for our God. As if God is actually so relieved when He sees what we do--knowing that He would never be able to accomplish these things without our help. How absurd!

The all-powerful, mighty God needs nothing of our works for Him, He only desires relationship with us.

The cool thing about it is that He chooses to allow us to help Him where He is already working.

Kind of like when my kids were toddlers and I let them pull up the kitchen chairs around the mixer as I made peanut butter cookies. Could I have made the cookies faster without them? Yes. Would it have been a more peaceful activity doing it by myself? Most definately. Could I have made those cookies with less chance of the batch being botched up?

Oh, that reminds me of the time when all three kids had their chairs pulled around the mixer. I had given each child their turn in pouring in an ingredient. It was one of those hallmark moments that my kids would someday thank me for in a Mother's Day Card.

Then--my almost 2 year old youngest daughter opened up the junk drawer--quicker than I could realize what she was doing, she proceeded to place 3 Christmas tree lightbulbs into the batter as the beaters were agitating quickly.

Our cookies quickly turned into a science experiment--what happens when you put 2 green and 1 red bulb into peanut butter dough while mixing? We still laugh about that now.

I didn't let the kids help me make cookies because I needed their help--I let them help me because it was something we could do together. I cared about spending time with them--and I valued that over getting the cookies done.

(I wish I got that message then--during the time I was throwing the dough with the shards of glass away--all while my son was asking if we couldn't just pick out the pieces and it would be all good.) I was ticked--and exasperated like I was so often as a young mom staying home with kids all day.

But God, on the other hand, is the perfect parent. He really just allows us to help Him--even if we mess things up a bit--all for the reason that He values a relationship with Him. That is so cool.

Do You Want To Be On My Team??

2009-12-03T00:39:00.003-06:00

The world will know we are christians by our love. It's a song--most of us are familiar by it, but I have been convicted by it. God wants to use the church to bring people to Him--and instead, it seems like people look at the church as a reason to stay far away from Him. We've been hurt--talked about--ignored--excluded--judged, and the people outside the church have experienced the same things, and they don't want any part of it.

I am thinking that that breaks God's heart. At times, I tend to be an island. Thinking that being a christian is just about having a relationship with Jesus--and then He will 'work' on me, and then maybe I can go out into the world and tell someone else about Him.

I am missing the point--and I really am a pretty relational person--but only up to a point. The old Simon and Garfunkle song comes to mind...

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
Well, I've heard the word before.
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I wonder--does the world see us loving one another--so much so, that they want to be apart of it all?

Are we such a team, that we would do anything God asks us to, for one another? Or are we caught up in our own dramas with one another?

I watched a Francis Chan message/podcast. He talked about this issue and compared it to a few years back when Koby Bryant and Shaq were playing for the Lakers. They had so much talent. They should have won the championship, but they were too preoccupied fighting with one another. They were too involved in their own drama--that they forgot there was something big happening--like the possibility of the TEAM winning a championship.

Good analogy--I think. Am I too occupied with my own personal dramas. Am I worrying about how someone has hurt me and refusing to forgive? Am I too busy looking at other's faults--thinking they are harming our reputation, and ignoring the huge plank in my own life? Am I forgetting about what is really supposed to be happening--the big show, and not my little puny drama?

Do those who have yet to believe know I am a christian by the way I love other christians? When they come in our churches--do they feel that we authentically care about each other--and are they just yearning to be apart of our family or are they finding more community, love and caring at the corner 'Cheers' bar or athletic gym?

Not sure how to end this post...I need to spend some time on my knees.

Setting Up the Tree--09

2009-11-29T21:03:00.003-06:00

Years ago, Mark and I use to talk all big about when our kids would leave the nest--and how we would be doing high fives and breaking out the cotton candy and ponies. (That is what we would jokingly tell our kids we did when they were sent to bed.)

Now that we are getting closer to that flying the coop day, I am not feeling as strong--in fact, last night I had a bit of a melt-down.

The Christmas tree was up--thanks to Mark--and wrapped properly and abundantly with lights. Usually, the next step would be that everyone would break out their own boxes of ornaments--and while we ate chili, hot chocolate, etc. the ornaments that the kids had received each year were placed on the tree. Usually this involved playful reminiscing and lighthearted arguments. I love that sound of us just being a family.

When the kids were little, I would have to move the ornaments after they went to bed because they were all concentrated on the lower limbs--and they were never evenly spaced out.

Other times, I would complain to Mark that it was impossible to keep a 16 month, 3 year old and 5 year old from rearranging the ornaments constantly. Then there were the times when they would take their Star Wars figurines and play hide and seek with them among all of the ornaments. One year, Luke Skywalker almost made it into the Christmas tree box!

To tell you the truth, I really miss those days.

And that brings me to my meltdown. We could not find a time when everyone was at home. Between work, hanging out with friends, dates, etc., there was no time during the holiday weekend for everyone to work on the tree together. I had to talk them into at least hanging up a few of their favorites before they left the house.

Then, Mark and I were hanging up the rest of the kids ornaments--and as I hung up the "Baby's 1st Christmas--89", Ballet Bear, and "Strawberry Shortcake Baking Cookies," I got kind of weepy. Well, not really 'kind of.'

I am not gonna lie--I didn't much like it and I told Mark that I am not sure I am ready for just me and him!

I know I have 2 years before the last kid is officially off to college--I sure hope that is enough time for me to prepare for the next chapter. I better get right on that!

Give Me Your Eyes...

2009-10-22T21:04:00.004-05:00

These books keep getting placed into my path. Books that take me out of my reality and place me in a spot that enables my empathy to expand. One of those books that I have read lately is What Difference Do it Make? This is the follow up book to Same Kind of Different As Me.

Continuing the hard-to-believe story of hope and reconciliation, Ron Hall and Denver Moore, "unlikely friends and even unlikelier coauthors--a wealthy fine-art dealer and an illiterate homeless African American--share the hard-to-stop story of how a remarkable woman's love brought them together."

The mark of a good book is one that after closing the cover for the final time, I am changed. I see my world differently because I spent a little time looking through the eyes of someone much different from myself.

Both of these books gave me new insight and compassion for the homeless. They don't need our sympathy--they don't need us to be their rescuer, giving hand-outs when it is convenient. Homeless individuals need relationships that give dignity and point them to hope.

Check it out--and let me know what your thoughts are!!

Rainbow

2009-09-22T22:25:00.003-05:00

I really wish I had my camera with me today. I was pulling weeds in some flower beds--it started to rain and I saw the most beautiful rainbow, ever!

Instead of going inside during the rain, I decided to put on a raincoat and stay in the elements.

This is the lesson learned--In order to see a rainbow, you need to stay out in the rain.

I know--it sounds like a hallmark card--all sappy and obvious.

Just realized that if it wasn't for the rain--bad times in our lives, we would never see the rainbow, ie. hope.

So, if you are going through storms--hang in there, the hope is just ready to pop up over the horizon.

Alright--Hallmark moment is over!

Painted Lines and Cement Handprints

2009-09-16T23:19:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, as I was running, I noticed that there were orange cones on the middle line on the road. The lines were fresh and dark yellow--they had just been painted.

As I had hit my half way mark, and it was time to turn around to go home, I looked both ways to see if it was okay for me to cross to the other side of the road. While running over the freshly painted lines, I had a quick urge to brush my running shoe across the wet paint--just to see if I could make my mark. Then the next thought--every time I pass this as I am driving, I could see where I had been!

I am very pleased to report that I resisted the urge to mess up the line and create an act of vandalism. But...

Why does my mind work the way it does? Why do I think the things I do?

That made me think about the time when I was kid and was able to press my hand into new cement. Why do we have a desire to do these things?

I think it may be the same reason that a toddler gets naughty and noisy while mom is talking on the phone--and the same reason that a teenage girl gives away more of herself than she intended.

God placed in all of us a desire to MATTER. We all want to look upon this work and say--"I existed, I was loved, I mattered, I had a purpose--I was HERE."

God must have placed that desire in us so we would search for Him. Because it is only through Him that we find our purpose. It is through Him that we feel special and chosen.

I can still feel those butterflies in my stomach as I waited to see when I would be picked in gym class and whose team I would be on. Nobody wanted to be that default team member that had to be picked--just because they were the only one left. (Gym teachers--Please find a different way for team picking!!)

The good news that I am thinking on today is that I matter, and you matter, too. I have been chosen and I am accepted--and that acceptance does not depend on anything I have or haven't done on this earth. Unconditional love and acceptance is a good gift from my Father!

The LOOK

2009-09-14T23:18:00.002-05:00

I find this really funny. Just a little laughter for the day!

Religion or Relationship?

2009-09-11T10:14:00.003-05:00

Once again, I must confess, I have been feeling rather dry in my walk with God. Going through the motions--praying, reading my Bible, going to church, etc. Those things are all good disciplines, but it is all about my attitude and my motives.

Why am I doing what I am doing?

If I am engaging in these routines because of a sense of duty, have to-ness it becomes nothing more than religion.

If I am spending time with God through His Word and prayer because of the love that He has for me and that I then can have for Him it is about a relationship with the Creator of the Universe.

Checking my motives and reasons for doing what I am doing...

I found this poem on another's blog--kind of summed it all up for me.

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake)

Fearless

2009-09-08T23:31:00.003-05:00

The earliest memories I have as a child involved fear. It had a stronghold on me for many years--paralyzing my thoughts and actions and keeping me at arms length from those that loved me--especially my God.

Here are some quotes from Max Lucado's newest book, Fearless.

"Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on the door. Just don't invite it in for dinner ... Let's embolden our hearts with a select number of Jesus' "do not fear' statements."

"We can fear less tomorrow than we do today."

"Fear, mismanaged, leads to sin. Sin leads to hiding. Since we've all sinned, we all hide, bot in bushes, but in eighty-hour workweeks, temper tantrums, and religious busyness. We avoid contact with God."

"Parents, we can't protect children from every threat in life, but we can take them to the Source of life. We can entrust our kids to Christ."

Fear doesn't have the same hold over me that it did as a child, teen, young adult, wife and mother of three little ones, then mother of teens--at times it can come blasting back, full force in an avalanche of anxiety, but if I take my eyes off the source of my worry, and put them on the Source of my strength, everything falls into proper perspective. This may well be why Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse in the Bible.

Higher Hope--Book Review

2009-09-07T23:24:00.003-05:00

This has not been a summer of reading--and I have really missed laying on the deck, in my hammock with a good book, but because we ended up driving 20 hours during this weekend taking Kyle to and from school, I finally finished my book for the book review bloggers. Higher Hope, by Robert Whitlow, is the 2nd book in the series, A Tides of Truth.

Written "in the tradition of John Grisham, combining compelling legal and ethical plot lines...but Whitlow has explicit spiritual themes."

Following a young legal clerk, Tami Taylor struggles with the legalistic religion that she experienced at home as it conflicts with the grace, mercy and hope that relationship with God offers.

To tell you the truth, I didn't care for this book at all. The legal drama seemed to drag, leaving the plot uninteresting, and I found the characters underdeveloped and simplistic. I really didn't care about them--and I never found myself lost in the pages, as I do when I am really enjoying a book.

Just my opinion...

One Team

2009-09-01T21:16:00.004-05:00

Ok--I have a few more posts on Kenya that still need to be written. (Maybe more--I am not making any promises!)

While talking to a teenager at Vipingo, I asked her what were her impressions and thoughts on Americans. She said that she thought that they were all very good people. I quickly set her straight.

While in Kenya, most of the children wanted to be close to us, and all the time we were driving around the cities, I rarely viewed any animosity on people's faces as the "van full of white people" drove by.

I suppose most of the children saw us--and then made a judgement on Americans--in general. So I guess in some ways we were ambassadors for USA.

I wish and hope it was different than that, though. I really pray that when the children played with us and received the love that we gave them that we were able to represent Jesus. I would much rather be an ambassador for Christ.

I do pray that some day, maybe when these children are much older, that they can look back at memories of the visitors that came to their school--and they won't think of them as 'white people', or even 'Americans', but as Christians.

One of the Kenyan pastors--maybe it was Pastor John, but I am not sure, said that he hoped that the children would stop seeing the different color of the skin, but see only one race--the human race. I wish the same for children in America.

The schools and churches that have been built by Fox River Christian Church are staffed by passionate, Kenyan Christians who are awesome ambassadors for Jesus. It was wonderful to be working with them--side by side--on the same team, if only for a few weeks.

Sweet 16

2009-08-23T18:24:00.007-05:00

Our youngest had her 'Sweet 16th' birthday on Friday. (She will always be Sweet Pea to her dad.) Where does the time go--and to all you young people reading this--yes, time does fly faster the older you get. I have a scientific reason all figured out--I'll explain it sometime, but it has to do with the more years you are alive and how everything is relative! Anyways...

I believe that it is a really good exercise, especially with my kids, to study them--I mean really know them and look for their good, super cool attributes. Hannah is a one of a kind--really passionate for God and for those less fortunate.

She loves serving at the food pantry and painting nails for the ladies at the nursing home. She told me once that she just wanted to 'make a difference' in this world, and that that might include missions.

She especially has a heart for the Rapha House, which is a home for girls in Cambodia that have been rescued from sex trafficking. Check out their website--Rapha House.

Hannah has always had her own style--and has always known exactly what that is. She has been working on painting her ceiling. That was a lot of squares-- and she's almost done!

Anyways--Happy Birthday, Hannah. Love you. Mom

Teaching to Play

2009-08-17T19:33:00.006-05:00

While in Kenya, we visited our schools, and when we did, we saw such joy and happiness. Children playing--and other than the dirt playground, school rooms without glass in the windows, and village children watching longingly from the distance, we could have been somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin in a middle class graded school.

The common denominator is that kids are kids--and when given the opportunity for nourishment, protection and love, kids play and laugh the same everywhere in the world.

A light bulb moment for me was realizing that not all kids play. Children who are worried about where their next meal is coming from do not play.

Children who are worried about the physical health--life and death needs--of their parents do not play.

Children who have adult responsibilities, like 'mothering' siblings, searching for food and carrying water for miles do not have time to play.

In our schools, I saw children playing. In the villages, I did not see children playing.

One of my prayers at Bomani and Vipingo during the celebration days was that when the adults watched us visitors running, chasing, tickling, laughing with their children that they too would realize that playing with their kids shows them that they are loved.

I can't condemn Kenyan adults for not playing with their kids--you see, they were never played with, either. How are they supposed to know if they never experienced?

Occasionally, while playing a game of Duck, Duck, Goose or a modified game of Red Light-Green Light, called Stop and Go--I would look over at the adults as they watched the strange white people laughing while Kenyan children climbed and clamored to hold on to a leg or hand, or climb on the back just for the opportunity to be hugged or tickled. As they watched, I witnessed a glimmer of a sparkle in their eyes, and an occasional smile.

I pray that a light bulb went off in their minds--and the idea that playing with their children is a very good thing, for both the child and the adult, alike. While listening to a child laugh, it seems to lighten the load--if not just temporarily.

For me, there is just something about a child laughing that equals hope--and when we hope, we are closer to God.

Pen and Paper

2009-08-10T22:07:00.005-05:00

How many pens do you have in your house? I have no idea the answer to that question, and in my house, I am guessing I have an infinite amount. As I am sitting at the computer, there is a purple one on the desk--just a second, let me check on the location of some other ones.

I looked for the last 1 and a half minutes, and I found one by the window seat, one in the coffee table drawer, 9 in the drawer where I keep the phone books/bills/everything else I don't know what to do with, 1 by the phone. That is not even mentioning the pens that I have that are actually where they are supposed to be--the junk bin.

So, I found 12 pens in two rooms of my house--like I said, it would be an infinite amount. Especially since I didn't check the couch cushions or under the sofas or chairs!

I am talking about pens because I have so many, and I have never given them a second thought--that is until I went to Kenya.

My friend Carrie brought pens and pads of paper for the kids to draw on. At the celebration day at Vipingo, many of us spent hours with the kids while they drew a picture with a pen! It was a big deal for them. Can you imagine spending time with kids in the States, and expecting them to care whether or not they could use a pen or not?

I had three pads of paper--three pens and 30 kids, from 2 years old to 20 years, all waiting to take a turn. After they drew their picture, I had them write their name and then I took a picture of them with their creation.

I will keep those pads of paper always, because for me they show such potential and promise. Each drawing is unique. The flowers that Lillian and Snumu drew speak of hope. This is a picture of Snumu and her flower--she wants to be a news broadcaster!

This is Lillian--followed by a letter that she wrote to me. I do believe the letter explains the look in her eyes, and it broke my heart.

This little girl couldn't have been more than three years old, but she had the attention span of a college student. Look at all those flower and all those "e's"! She worked on those for 45 minutes-filling up two pages-maybe not wanting to relinquish the pen. She was a twin and her sister was dressed the same. Check out her doll--it was the only toy I remember any of the children from the villages having. It had no arms or legs, but she clung to it as if it meant everything to her.

Stephen tried to act all tough--but he wanted to draw--but maybe it was more about being noticed and recognized as someone special.

I probably have 50 pictures of the kids with their art work. As I was taking the pictures, I knew it was important. Not sure why--maybe it was to send a message to each one--"You are valued and special--and you have a hope and a future." The message might have been for me because as I look at each photo their personalities and actions come flooding back--and as I look at the photos, I can zoom into the picture, and pray for them by name.

Cameras and Blessings

2009-08-09T22:34:00.005-05:00

Kids in Kenya loved my camera. Usually, I had to point and shoot quickly if I saw a picture I wanted to capture, because if I paused, I would have 20 kids with their noses two inches from my lens!

Without any mirrors available, many of the kids were seeing themselves for the first time as I would turn the digital camera around so they could see the picture I just took.

Can you imagine not knowing what you look like? Most of the children would laugh and say the names of the others that they would recognize--and then I would point at their image and say, "That's you!!!" They would respond with a laugh--and many times a shy, embarrassed hiding of their face!

The biggest treat for the kids was having the opportunity to take a picture. I would carefully place the strap around their neck--and usually the first, older child that I had given the instructions to would relay the information to the others--"Look in here--Press this button."

I just take so many things for granted--for example mirrors. I am not sure how many times a day I look into one, and cameras. I am so very thankful that I had one so I can share my pictures with all of you. Not to mention the blessing of this computer to publish my experiences so easily and quickly.

Those items are so superficial when comparing them with my three meals a day--plus snacks, clean water that comes out of a faucet and doesn't need to be carried in a bucket on my head, clean clothes, warm roof over my head, transportation, shoes for my feet, health care for my family, etc. I really could go on and on--maybe one of these posts I will do that.

My eyes have been opened... I just hope they stay opened to all the blessings I have.

See if you can find me in each of these pictures, taken by some budding photographers. It's my little version of "Where's Waldo?"

Names

2009-08-06T00:37:00.005-05:00

Before my trip, I had compassion for all those kids in Africa. Now, I have love and compassion for Josiah, Lillian, Lucky, Elvis and Allah and others. It's so much better to know them by name, and when I am praying for them, I am not just reciting a rote, generic prayer for those children 'over there.'

The lyrics to this song kept running through my head while in Kenya.

I have a maker
He knows my heart,
before even time began
My life was in his hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

God knows my name, and He knows the names of every child in Mombasa, Kenya as well as Every Town, USA.

The names of those children in Kenya are as priceless as their sweet little faces. I would love to share some of those precious ones with you. I will never think about those kids in Africa the same way ever again. He knows their name--and now we do, too!

!

LUCKY

JOSIAH

BILL GATE!

BRENDA

LILLIAN

ELVIS

NICODEMUS

Babies Carrying Babies

2009-08-03T15:11:00.007-05:00

The one thing that stands out to me above all others--the pictures that stay in my head and continue to break my heart into tinier and tinier pieces are the ones where children who should be carried themselves are transporting little ones, not more than a couple years younger then themselves.

Check out the pictures...

Two separate days, we split up into groups and ventured into the villages to spread the news about a celebration/outreach day. As we walked, the group of children would grow, and a parade of little Kenyans following big Americans would travel through the mud and thatch houses.

The children would clamor to hold onto a hand, many times settling for a finger--which would give us the privilege of walking with 10 by our side.

As we were walking, Nora noticed two little ones sitting by their house, with no adult in sight. This is what she saw...

Later, as we were walking, she noticed the same little ones walking along side of the group. Barefoot, big sister trudged along, carrying little sister, with eyes that have haunted me ever since. This picture is burned into my heart forever...

>

Finally, Nora offered to help carry the little one.

Big sister never left Nora's side--and as hard as Nora tried, she was never able to get her to smile. The same eyes that you see in these pictures--eyes that tell untold stories that I can not even imagine, eyes that look old and burdened by responsibility stared back at Nora's smiling face.

These are the pictures that I brought back with me from Kenya...

Kenya and Back

2009-08-01T13:44:00.004-05:00

Isaiah 41:17-20

"The poor and needy search for water,

but there is none;

their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the LORD will answer them;

I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

I will make rivers flow on barren heights,

and springs within the valleys.

I will turn the desert into pools of water,

and the parched ground into springs.

I will put in the desert

the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.

I will set pines in the wasteland,

the fir and the cypress together,

so that people may see and know,

may consider and understand,

that the hand of the LORD has done this,

that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Our trip to Kenya is behind us, but is forever in my heart. How can I even put the words down to describe the experience? I want to write it all down at once--but that is impossible, so I will trust God that I will be able to express it all, blog by blog!

God teaches me lessons that are lessons that I already thought I had all figured out. It is an ever increasing knowledge--building brick by brick on what He has already taught me.

For example, here is one of those lessons learned in Kenya: Faith, Hope, and Love are the GREATEST gifts that He could give us.

My soul was as parched and hungry as those Kenyans were physically before Jesus came into my life so many years ago. I was as hopeless spiritually as they are physically and spiritually.

I was so honored to be part of the ministry that Fox River Christian Church has in Africa. We are making a difference in a big way--feeding hungry children, educating their minds, but most importantly, feeding their hungry souls.

As we ventured into the villages, I witnessed children carrying babies on their backs, with eyes that told unknown stories of heartache and despair, realizing that this is their life--full of mundanenss, poverty and hopelessness, completely lacking any future or dreams.

I also witnessed children from our schools who were fed a lunch to fill their stomachs, and stories of Jesus's love to fill their souls.

Those children and many of their teachers lived in the same hopeless situation as the others in the village, but because of the FAITH, HOPE and LOVE that they have experienced through Jesus and individuals who love Him, they were able to dream and hope for a future. God has good plans--and in plenty or in want, with Him and the gifts that He gives us, we are blessed.

I have lots to share--thoughts, pictures, etc. I just hope words will do it justice! Stay tuned!

Before Africa--BA

2009-07-17T22:13:00.003-05:00

This is what I'm thinking on tonight.

Ever get to a point where you just know that soon you will be walking through a door in your life--and after you walk through that door, you will never be the same?

I have walked through 'doors' that have changed me, but at the time, I thought it was not such a big deal. Maybe that was due to ignorance. Maybe that was due to age or immaturity--or maybe I was just oblivious.

For example, BM--Before Married (No, it's not what you thought!.) Mark and I got married--we drove away to Mackinac Island to begin our life--and life was pretty much never the same--most of the time, in a good way!

We went to the hospital, had a baby, drove home and they forgot to give us an owner's manual--life was never the same. Two more times--same deal, different baby, all together new owner's manual was needed--still, empty handed! Life will never be the same!

College--figured out the party life was not working for me and decided I needed a lot more of Jesus in my life. Life was not the same.

In three days, I leave on a plane, get off and walk through another door. The door to Africa--at that point I assume I will leave a lot of preconceived notions behind. All those stereotypes that have gone along with the word "Africa" since I was a little girl. And I'm hoping that that is not the only things that will be shattered as I get off that plane. I am praying a heart that can many times be hard and protected will be broken--broken by the same things that break God's heart.

Actually, I am hoping that my status quo life may be shakened up a bit--I'll let you know what is different after I walk through that door. One thing for certain, something has to give.

Fireworks

2009-07-07T12:59:00.003-05:00

On the 3rd, we made our annual trek to the lakefront to stake out our claim of property for the day. It is actually one of my favorite days of the year--hanging out with friends and family, with no responsibilities other than to wait for the fireworks to begin.

What struck me this year is the contrast of how the fireworks are now, to when they were as a kid back in the '70s.

My family would find some high spot so that we could get a good view, lay down a blanket, spray some mosquito spray and wait in anticipation for the show to begin.

Once it began, each display would slowly proceed--with maybe 10 seconds in between each color blast. We really would 'ooooh' and 'ahhhhh' over each one--and we weren't being sarcastic or anything--(Well, maybe when we were teenagers!!) We waited in anticipation for the next one to get shot off.

It's a bit different now--both at the Big Show at the lakefront and the small town display only 5 miles away from home. It is basically a bombardment of fireworks. At times I had to look away in Milwaukee because it was so intense.

Now don't get me wrong, it was an awesome show. But it seems to me, we all appreciate it a little less--it's like we all get spoiled and overloaded with the whole overall show, and fail to appreciate each individual display. (It's hard to do that as they all run together anyways.) Everything always has to be bigger and better. I like bigger and better, but does it prevent me from actually enjoying the show?

Maybe that's how it is with me with life in general. Each minute is blurred by the next. Finish with something--already moved on in my brain to the next thing, and in the meantime, I fail to enjoy the MOMENT.

Trying to enjoy one spectacular, God moment at a time...

A Work In Progress

2009-06-29T21:16:00.003-05:00

I come from a long line of fiery women who like to control a situation and have things go their own way. I am not sure how far generationally it goes back, but I am guessing Eve was the one to start it all. I am not saying any of this to be disrespectful in anyway to those that went before me--I picked up the torch all on my own.

I was contemplating this fact this weekend while Mark and I went away to celebrate our 22nd anniversary. As we drove and spent time together, I thought back to previous trips in the years past. A missed turn could cause an argument of "I told you so" or a left behind stake for the tent for camping could have ended up in icy silence.

This weekend, there were a number of times when we each saw something two different ways or heard or understood something differently, something so minute and tiny that could have caused a fight on anniversaries past, and instead, we could laugh it off. I might say something like, "You could be right, of course, I could be right, too!" That little stupid stuff just doesn't matter.

Sometimes too often yet, those little things still matter, and I have a hard time letting go. Forgetting about it, moving on and not seeing things as all or nothing--I am still a work in process as I learn to trust God in all situations and lay down my 'right' to be right.

Jesus was right every moment He walked this earth, and He laid down everything and took it all to the cross.

The least I could do is lay down my need to win an argument and control a situation. 22years later, our marriage is a work in progess!

No Place Like Home

2009-06-21T22:50:00.003-05:00

We had a visitor drop by a few days ago, and we named him Howie. Strolling along our driveway, he seemed a bit dazed and confused. When we first saw him, Kyle threw some bird seed down, and he pecked at it warily. A few hours later, Mark and I realized he was still on our front porch and as we walked towards him, the pigeon flew up to the corner of the eaves on our roof. We noticed there was a tag on his leg, and as we couldn't get close enough to read the numbers, I tried taking this picture, with the hopes that I could zoom in and read the digits. No such luck.

Next day, I all but forgot about our friend, went to work, came home only to find Hannah holding the bird, which I soon learned she had named Howie. Nora and Hannah had been feeding him cheerios and had to distract Ellie who had a sudden urge for pointing.

Hannah read off the numbers on the leg band, and Nora googled them and we found out that Howie was a racing pigeon from the Fond Du Lac racing club. After a few phone calls back and forth--and after talking to his owner, we placed him in Ellie's small kennel and waited for him to be picked up.

The pigeons owner explained that Howie was a young bird, born this year, and he had escaped and flew away. He had lost other birds in the past, but had never recovered any, so he was pleased to be able to place Howie in the soft sided, almost luggage like container in the back of his car.

Mark learned that Jim, the bird owner, lets the training birds loose in Madison, and by the time he gets home to Hartland, the birds are waiting for him. Older, more experienced birds fly home from longer trips--each trip involves more mileage. As the bird completes each assignment, the owner's confidence in the bird grows, and longer trips are assigned and accomplished.

Once again, my spiritual life mirrors nature around me. God gives me assignments, at first small in nature, and it is a test. Will I obey--accomplish the task and come back home--looking towards the Lord for direction, for my next test, all the while, growing more like Jesus every day?

I learned that the pigeons interact with humans from the minute they are born, and they learn to associate people with home. This may be why, when we put Howie in the garage while we rounded up Ellie's carrier, the door opened as it wasn't latched properly. Howie promptly came inside the house, and Nora found him walking by the counter in the kitchen! People meant home, and he was desperately looking for his belonging place.

I do believe that we have this innate sense to find home, and home is only found when we have a relationship with our Creator. I have tried to fill that longing with many things, and sometimes when I lose my way, I find myself resorting to old, unhealthy patterns. Relationships, food and acceptance do not take me home. Jesus is where I belong.

Kenya Trip

2009-06-17T16:05:00.005-05:00

I find that my natural tendency when going through my days is to live them very carefully. I am not a risk taker by nature--in fact, comfort, security and ease are high on my list. I gravitate towards events that do not take me out of my comfort zone.

All that said, those things do not make me happy and fulfilled. I like to be pushed out of that hum drum life--but only after the fact.

For example, I could easily spend a day lounging around home, watching country videos on YouTube, stalking--I mean checking out friends on Face Book, or googling Jon and Kate to see what the real deal is, etc.

I gravitate towards things that don't take any relational, physical, spiritual or social risk, but I am not fulfilled by these things.

Which brings me to the reason why I am writing this--yesterday it dawned on me that Nora and I are actually going to Kenya in 5 weeks. We have just been working, saving, etc. towards going for so long, that I think I was able to put it on the shelf--you know, the box marked "Kenya Mission Trip"--thinking that I might take it down someday...or I might not.

Well, the 6 shots in the arm are completed, the anti-malarial medicine is bought, the finances have been provided (Thank you, God) and the tickets are in our names.

This is definitely not one of those 'ease of life' activities that falls into where I naturally 'hang out."

The reason that I am not fulfilled when I go through the motions--and don't step out of the comfort level, is that I was not made to live life in this hum drum manner. Living like that requires no faith whatsoever--it's not really living.

So the other day as I realized I was really going to go--God willing--I started feeling a bit of anxiety. Uncertain--unknown makes me nervous. I like to know what to expect. I like to predict how I will react and what feelings I will experience. All that said, I LIKE to live my life that way, but it doesn't make me happy. Does that make any sense to anyone other than me?

I'll keep you posted...

Garden UPDATE!

2009-06-16T00:14:00.004-05:00

Here's an update on my gardens by way of pictures. I really like the box garden concept. For some reason, it seems way more manageable and less overwhelming when it comes to maintenance, ie. WEEDING!

I enjoy stepping outside to get a bowl of lettuce/spinach for a salad, and I found a knock-off recipe for lettuce wraps from PF Changs on the internet.

Perceptions

2009-06-12T07:46:00.003-05:00

"We will not love well until we feel well loved." Beth Moore

Heard this quote last night at my study, and I have thoughts of agreement and disagreement.

I know I love others better when and after I have spent time with God--reading the Bible, praying, etc. So at those times, I feel loved and I love. Also, I know that when I am all insecure and anxious, that comes out of me and replaces the loving actions towards others. Those feelings of insecurity and anxiety are an outgrowth of unbelief and they are both rooted in pride--ie. it's all about me, everyone is looking at me, I am such a loser, etc. ('me' and 'I' dominate those thoughts!)

Also, I know that if God pours His love in me--but I have to allow Him to do that, He won't force me to accept it--that love is going to have to pour out to others.

The one thing that trips me up about that first quote is the word 'feel." Sometimes, I just don't feel His love. Does that mean that it's not there? I can not trust my feelings because they go up and down according to the day's events, latest conversation and even the time of the month!

When my feelings tell me one thing, like "God is just messing with me and He can't possibly love me" I need to recognize the fact that that is just a lie. I don't know about yours, but my feelings are downright fickle--that's when I need to hang on to what I know is truth.

And the truth?

God loves me even when I don't 'feel' it.

I work at a petting farm that gives tours to school groups, etc. One little boy kept asking me why my neck was green! Now, working at the farm, you get a little nervous not knowing what could be on you and where it may have come from! After I felt my neck to make sure I didn't have any unknown green substance on it, I realized my neck looked green to the little 4 year old because I was wearing a lime green shirt and its' greenness reflected on to my skin.

My point is that he really thought my neck was green---that was his perspective and what it looked like to him. The FACT was that that wasn't true.

We can think things are true--because we 'feel' them or perceive it to be--and that doesn't change the truth.

The truth is--Jesus loves you and me, in fact, He doesn't just love us, He likes us, too! That's amazing!!

1 John 4:16 (Amplified Bible)
16And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him.

Grace is the Glue

2009-06-09T22:57:00.005-05:00

I came home this late afternoon to find my husband sitting on a stool by the counter, super glue in one hand and a broken tea cup in the other. You may remember a past post in regards to those same teacups--click HERE if you need a refresher!

The problem wasn't just that one teacup fell to the ground--it was more like half of the shelf came off the wall and most everything on it slid precariously to the floor.

As my daughter was leaving the house, the door to the garage slammed behind her, due to the suction of air from an open window on the opposite side of the house. She then heard the crashing.

All this happened while I was away, and when I viewed my husband quietly gluing everything back together, my heart dropped to see the tea cups, which were given to me as presents from my Grandma, along with our porcelain wedding cake top laying in pieces on the counter.

Mark told me how my youngest felt terrible about what happened and was beating herself up over the incident. At that moment, I felt compelled to call her immediately--she was at an end of the year soccer party. I know my daughter--and I know how hard she is on herself, and I knew she wouldn't be enjoying the party.

I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't mad--it was a mistake and they were all just 'things'. I wanted her to forget about it, and freely enjoy her time with friends.

God used this event to break through to my heart. You may have noticed that I haven't posted for awhile...just been feeling really distant from God. And when I feel distant, I tend to stay distant. Then He breaks through with His grace.

It was wonderful to communicate grace to my daughter--to lift her burden of guilt and worry over whether or not I was mad.

Then I realized, how much more wonderful and natural is it for God--the creator of grace--to extend it to me. He is not giving it grudgingly or hesitantly. As much as I wanted to call Hannah immediately so she could enjoy her day, He wants me to accept and receive the grace and forgiveness He extends to me.

Hannah could have chosen not to believe me--thinking that I was mad and she could have continued being miserable at her party. Same thing with me and God--I could refuse to believe that God forgives my distance and neglect to our relationship and continue having a miserable time at my 'party'--ie. everyday life.

Also, another silver lining to the crashing of the shelf--a reminder of my husbands patience as he meticulously glued the pieces back together and my oldest daughter's sweet servant spirit as she gathered all the pieces of all the different shattered mementos and placed them in piles so they could be glued back together.

Workin' At the Car Wash

2009-05-16T21:27:00.003-05:00

We had a car wash today to help those who still need funds for the Kenya trip. It was so dang windy--I was part of the 'marketing' team--which meant that I held a sign at the corner of 164, by the McDonald's.

I had three hours of contemplative thinking while I attempted to catch the driver's attention and keep myself from sailing away in the wind with my big, pink CAR WASH sign.

These are some of my deep thoughts while I was doing my job.

1. When we do what God is calling us to do, we need to leave the results in His hands. Sometimes it's not about what we humans would call success--God sees success and purpose in a different light then we do.

In other words, we didn't get many people to stop for the car wash. We didn't make a ton of money--but we did get to spend some time with others that were going on the trip and I did get a lot of time to talk to God--ie. praying that I wouldn't blow away.

For me, it is really a peaceful thing to trust God with the outcome. I just do my thing, and I leave the rest in His hands, and that gives me a lot of peace and frees me from thoughts of 'should of, could of's' and second guessing.

Deep thought # 2

2. You can smell permanent marker through the back side of a poster. I don't think it damages your brain if you smell it too much...

Deep thought # 3--I can't remember it, oh yeah,

3. I will never again drive by people holding signs for a car wash, going out of business sale, or half price pizza without at least smiling and making eye contact. (When you stand on the street for hours you really feel isolated and any kind of human contact and encouragement is appreciated!)

Kentucky Fried Chicken and Chocolate Chip Cookies

2009-05-14T20:37:00.002-05:00

God teaches me so much through my dog! The other day, Mark and I were picking up our free 'grilled chicken meal' at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and we decided to let Ellie tag along for a car ride. (If you missed the free coupon--bummer for you!) Anyways, back to the lesson taught to me by Ellie.

Finally we get to the drive-through window, and were handed our meal. As Ellie sat on Mark's lap, she turned her body toward me and the passenger seat--rather, she turned her body toward the free, chicken scented meal placed strategically on my lap. She stared at that meal--as if she would take her eyes off of it, the meal might walk away.

It was so unusual for her to be facing my seat--usually she looks out the driver's window. Ellie was totally obsessed--she started to whine, as if she was going crazy over the thought of not being able to eat the chicken.

Whining--whining--... finally, Mark had to get after her, and physically shift her around so she could look out the window.

When I am tempted, I get a little crazy, too. A pan of chocolate chip cookies is my temptation. I eat one--I walk by them again, I eat two, I take a second and third glance, I eat three. (I assume you get the point!)

It's not just food--but there is other things I am drawn to when I know that it is no good for me. I lack self-control.

And when I lack self-control, I notice my focus is not where it should be. That is when I need to turn my head, walk away, and refocus.

Psalm 25:15
My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T21:45:00.002-05:00

Happy Mother's Day!

More precious than a million long stem roses! My girls helped their little cousin pick these for her mom. She was bursting with excitement.

My mom and a few of her grandkids!

We had a cook-out to celebrate mother's day. Family time--and a game of Scrabble with my mom! I am blessed.

Hope you all had a wonderful mother's day!

Quote

2009-05-07T06:41:00.002-05:00

"As parents, we are not called to be loved, we are called to love."
Mark--my husband.

In Recovery

2009-05-04T21:58:00.004-05:00

This is something I have been mulling over in my mind since we saw Todd Agnew in concert at our church. During a break in songs, he was sharing about the ministry that he has with his wife--a recovery ministry for those who have an issue with alcohol.

When we use the word 'recovery'--we tend to think of certain kinds of behavior. Drugs, alcohol being a few of the "biggies" that come to mind. But that is where our thinking and God's way of thinking part ways--God doesn't rank sins, like not so bad, bad, really bad, etc.

For the most part, I know that God looks at all sins the same. He is perfect and we are not, and in that, an insurmountable chasm is created between us. But even though I know that in my head--sometimes I catch myself being prideful in my thoughts.

Everybody as issues, make that sin issues, that separate us from God. My sins of judging others, pride, overeating and disobedience in big and little things is no different from those of the drug addict or prostitute on the street corner.

Which brings me back to the point that Todd Agnew made--we are all in recovery. That is, we are if we recognize our sin and desire to turn and change our ways. My neighbor might be in recovery for an alcohol dependence, but I am in recovery for prideful thinking--and also for disobedience when I hear God telling me what I need to do, and I willfully and stubbornly refusing to obey.

Mark and I were talking about this as we were watching a Brewers game on TV tonight. This is what we asked ourselves--When is someone in recovery? (We decided it is when someone recognizes that a sin is destroying their lives and decides to turn from it.) And what exactly is being recovered? (Maybe LIFE--since all sin leads to death and destroys.) If any of you have any thoughts on these questions, I would love to hear them!

While in recovery, we need to rely on God to change us and lean on others for support and encouragement. Recognizing the area in our life that needs recovering is the first step.

So how can I judge someone else's sin--maybe thinking that they are farther away from God than I am? I can't--only God knows our heart, and we are all in recovery.

Orphans

2009-04-30T23:51:00.006-05:00

Psalm 10:14
But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.

The last few days, we had to do a little bit of multi-tasking--cuddling with baby while reading Frankenstein for Literature class!

Not only did school continue, but we also baby sat for a very woolly, tiny one. My sister acquired a couple of orphans. The first one was found in the sheep barn at my family's farm--battered and left for dead, this precious, helpless lamb was rejected by her mother, which sometimes happens with ewes when they are mothering for the first time.

My uncle walked into the barn and saw the baby, and at first glance, he thought she was dead. After discovering she was still breathing, he recruited the most tender hearted person he knew--My sister, Mavis--to see if possibly the lamb could be 'revived' with a little bit of love and attention.

Mavis needed to be away from home for a couple of days, so she asked us if we would be able to take care of the lamb--(Hannah called her Bailey--and as you can see, she fell in love.)

By the second day, another orphan came to stay. This baby goat--Hailey--was also not taken care of by her mother, and Mavis found herself with another baby to bottle-feed around the clock!

They took to each other right away. As you can see, baby lamb and baby goat became sisters. They are just so sweet with each other. Hailey--the kid--cries whenever Bailey--the lamb totters out of her sight. She has found a life long friend!

All I could think about as these babies were in our house was that it was a resemblance of God's love for us. Battered and beat up by this world, rejected and lonely, He does take us in and accepts us as His own. He is the Father to the father-less and He chose us to be adopted as His own.

I am very thankful for that sense of peace and belonging that being a child of God gives me.

Ephesians 1:4-6
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

The Noticer

2009-04-28T09:47:00.002-05:00

When I agree to receive a free book, in exchange for reviewing it on my blog, there is always a risk. Will the book merit the space--and will I be able to proudly stand behind it?

Andy Andrews is the author of the book The Noticer. A fictional account of a drifter who 'drifts' in and out of people's lives--at the most opportune time.

Jones, just one of the man's many names, appears and disappears but only after he is able to shed a little perspective into someone's seemingly hopeless situation.

He speaks to a young, homeless man, a couple on the verge of divorce, and an elderly woman feeling useless, just to name a few, and provides hope.

This book is a 'Ahh Haaa' kind of book--you know the kind I am talking about. The kind that makes you think deeply and contemplate.

The overall theme--"Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective," is true, and I have had 'Noticers' in my life just like Jones. In the middle of dark situations, I have been so thankful for those who have shed some light--perspective--and provided hope. (Mark--thank you for your patience during those times!!)

Having a Biblical understanding of this world--a Godly perspective--is one of the greatest gifts God has given me, and although I feel this book falls a bit short in this department, I would still highly recommend it.

Gardening

2009-04-26T16:44:00.007-05:00

I took this picture today, but it is very reminiscent of what happened last spring--and my garden suffered.

Mark is making me box gardens--so I can avoid the flooding issue. I also love the idea of containment--and not kneeling down so much for all that weeding.

This is my dad---one of the most hard working, decent man in the whole wide world. Here he is delivering us some topsoil for our box gardens that he scraped off one of his fields.

The finished product!! I'll keep you posted on the results. This is the time I love--expectations are so high--and there is not a weed to be found!

Believe

2009-04-20T17:32:00.002-05:00

We can lose faith in a lot of things--people around us, our government, co-workers who let us down--because those things will always prove to let us down.

Then we can lose faith in God--questioning His ability to save us out of a tough situation, doubting His love and care, or His existence.

Faith really is a choice we make. I have to choose to believe that God is faithful--and when I focus on that, my faith grows.

The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made."
Psalm 145:13

Everywhere around us--there is proof that God is. In nature, I look at the intricate designs and infinite galaxies and find it impossible to believe that it all happened by accident. I have changed because I have a relationship with Jesus--and I have seen others do the same. To me, that is proof that He is. I have also heard of men attempting to refute the Bible and after much investigation, they have given up being marveled by the prophecies and historical evidence found in its pages.

Despite all the evidence, it takes a choice. A choice to believe--or not. I would guess that most individuals--whether believer or not--have a time in their life when they question their belief in God.

Billy Graham was one of those questioning believers. Charles Templeton was one of the greatest preachers of the mid-twentieth century, and a friend to a young Billy Graham. Charles decided to turn his back on his faith and became an atheist.

These events caused Billy to examine his faith. As a young preacher, he was on the verge of giving up and going back to working the farm.

One night, as he wrestled with God on the side of a mountain, Billy chose faith. "He still had many questions, but he had stepped across a line; in a simple yet enormously profound step of faith, he had crossed once and for all from doubting to believing."

He later stated, "From that moment on, I can tell you before God, I've never had a doubt. And when I quote the Scripture, I know that I am quoting the Living Word of God. It has power. And from that moment on, my ministry changed because I could speak with authority. I knew that the Bible was God's Word, and I knew it would not return void."

I just read the book "Billy" which is the story of a young Billy Graham and the test of faith that almost changed everything. It's a good read--check it out.

It made me think about the importance of faith--and the importance of dwelling on and remembering the faithful things that God has done in my life. When I do that, my faith grows.

I wonder how many of you have come to a crossroads of faith--mine came in college, and since then, I have faltered, but never walked away from the Faithful One.

Bird Brain

2009-04-16T21:17:00.003-05:00

My sister and brother-in-law are starting a new endeavor as managers of a petting farm, so I have been helping her a few days get the farm ready for school groups in May--mostly raking. As I was cleaning up a flower garden, I looked over to see a robin flying into the window of the house.

At first I thought it was a one time mistake, and after hitting the window the bird would fly away after he learned the error of his ways.

But as I continued raking, I kept hearing the banging sound over and over. That poor bird just kept right at it.

Taking pity on him, I walked over by the window with my rake and tried to scare the robin away so the mindless, possible injurious routine would be broken. He flew away--but in no time at all, he was right back at it again.

I've thought about the times I continuously do the same stupid, harmful things--developing a pattern that is difficult to break. Sometimes, people wiser than me try to shake some sense in me by speaking a little truth--I'm thankful for those friends--and often I take heed, and other times I continue my deeds, thinking I know best.

I picture God looking at me--shaking His head in sadness just waiting for me to stop banging my head on the same old wall/window.

A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,but the simple keep going and suffer for it. Prov 22:3

Here's the link to my sister's blog that chronicles her adventures with her many animals--Green Meadows Blog.

Fragile Tea Cups

2009-04-15T23:40:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, Mark painted our walls--and then we readjusted some of the wall deco. The shelves with my tea cups were moved and hung next to the door that leads to the garage. A pretty good place for it, I thought, as it leads to the steps downstairs--and everyone gets a good glimpse of my G'ma's cup and saucers.

That part of it was all good and all, but the thing I neglected to even remotely anticipate was that every time any one comes in from outside/garage they shut the door--and the centrifugal force (I have know idea what that term really means--just want to sound like I do) of the slamming door moves one of the cups ever so dangerously close to the edge of the shelf.

So, I am trying to train myself--and my family--to check it every so often, and slide the tea cup with the pink dogwood blossoms to the back of the shelf--tight against the wall. Hopefully this plan will work--otherwise, if neglected, I will have one less cup in my collection.

My mind was whirling again with analogies--and this concrete event just happened to collide in my brain with the feeling that Mark and I haven't spent much quality time together. The time that we have spent together--I have been crabby.

Crabby just like slamming the outside door by the tea cups. If I don't take the time to repair--invest some time in that very important relationship in my life--it could very likely come crashing down around me--and then we both have a bunch of pieces to pick up and repair.

Probably better to spend a little time--apologizing for being so edgy and for taking him for granted. Stop my busyness and sit down and really listen when I ask him how his day went. I guess I envision it kind of like sliding the cup back after the door slam--just to insure it won't fall.

Regular maintenance--In his business world, Mark likes to call it a 'neck up, check up' and I like to call it plain and simple--communication.

Banging--Buckets--Balls!

2009-04-14T08:20:00.005-05:00

Last week, we did a little babysitting! The two boys brought a lot of joy into our house--and lessons learned of discovery and enjoying every moment. This is my cousin's son's son!! (Got that?) All that 2nd-3rd cousin--2nd removed, etc. really confuses me, so if anyone can explain that to me--it would be much appreciated! Anyways--Hope you enjoy the pictures half as much as we enjoyed having the boys over!

Drumming!

Fun With a Bucket!

Balls!

I am motivated to live my day like this today--the day is a success if I let go and laugh--a lot!!

Surrender

2009-04-08T17:23:00.003-05:00

At Christmas time, I contemplate how amazing it is that an eternal, all-powerful God would come to earth, and surrender Himself to both time and space.

These days leading up to Easter, I am blown away by a different kind of surrender--the surrender of sinlessness. The One who knew no sin, the one man who never succumbed to temptation, layed down His life for the rest of us who did.

On that day, an unknown soldier took branches and mocked Jesus by placing a crown of thorns on His head.

Thorns represents the consequence of our sins. In Genesis, God cursed the land "The ground will produce thorns and weeds for you, and you will eat the plants of the field." Gen. 3:18

I have dealt with the fruit of my sin--I have been cut by the sharpness of its consequences--shame, disgrace, discouragement,isolation, fear and anxiety--not to mention a falling away in relationships.

Jesus had never dealt with any of those consequences before--ever--because if you have never sinned, there is no fallout to deal with.

On that Friday over 2000 years ago, for the first time ever, Jesus was cut by the thorns of sin. That sin was not of His own doing, but of ours, and suddenly that crown of thorns takes on a whole new meaning for me.

The best part of this story is that Jesus was not helpless in the crucifiction, He was God, so at any time during the suffering, He could have raised His hand in refusal to the nails and removed Himself from the cross. Instead, He surrendered willingly--that is truly amazing.

Carrie Underwood Sings, Plays, Cries and Prays in Africa

2009-04-07T08:01:00.003-05:00

These little faces are so precious, and these little children are important to Jesus. I am so looking forward to what God has planned for us in Kenya!

A Couple Reasons to Forgive

2009-04-05T22:06:00.003-05:00

I learned some powerful concepts in my study this week, I thought about recapping it, but decided that Beth Moore already did that--so why reinvent the wheel? Check out her quotes below.

"The intent of forgiveness is to cut someone loose. the word picture drawn by the Greek terms for unforgiveness is one in which the "unforgiven" is roped to the back of the unforgiving. How ironic. Unforgiveness is the means by which we securely bind ourselves to that which we hate most. therefore, the Greek meaning of forgiveness might best be demonstrated as the practice of cutting loose the person roped to your back."

"We must forgive because we are not the only ones bound by the rope of unforgiveness. If we refuse to forgive, we tie God's mighty hands from "working all things together for good." He will not bring personal good to you from your pain if you do not release Him through your forgiveness."

"Until you surrender to His purpose in the specific matter at hand, He cannot work it for your good. do you know what that means? It all happened in vain--for absolutely nothing."

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

The Hole In Our Gospel--Book Review

2009-04-02T20:20:00.004-05:00

As I sit down to contemplate reviewing my next book for Thomas Nelson Publishing, The Hole In Our Gospel, by the president of World Vision, Richard Stearns, my mind whirls with all the concepts that I wrestled with while reading.

Firstly, let me sum up the author's journey from CEO to top corporations, such as Gillette, Parker Brothers and Lenox who set aside worldly success. As a christian in the corporate world, Stearns was able to make tons of money but he knew God was calling him to lay that aside and go into the ministry.

During an interview for the position of president of World Vision, Stearns was asked, "Rich, if you are selected for this job, you will have to travel to some of the worst places in the world. You will be exposed to heartbreaking things: children living in garbage dumps, women who have lost their children to disease, people on their deathbeds with AIDS. Are you comfortable with that?"

No, he wasn't comfortable with that--but sometimes life isn't about comfort.

He chose the title, The Hole in our Gospel, because as he looked back at his American dream life, along with others in his circle of influence, he wondered how it compared to the life that Jesus called His disciples to.

In the book of John, this statement "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." John 3:17-20

The author challenged his readers to read the gospels and the words of Jesus as if they were seeing it for the very first time. After reading this book, I believe that we have 'Americanized' the words of Jesus as we view his teachings through the filter of least resistance, comfort, and selfishness.

The author's challenge--what would the world look like if the perceptions of Christians by the world--judgmental, hypocritical, insensitive to others would be shattered by actions of love, forgiveness, and genuinely involved with the less unfortunate?

It's easy to be overwhelmed with the needs of the world, sometimes we just don't think we could ever make a difference in the lives of those starving children we see as we are flipping channels on the TV.

So what can I do for the 3.6 billion people who live on less than 2 dollars a day? Stearns encouraged me to use my time, talents and treasures--however big or small they may be. "Most of us greatly underestimate the potential value of our time, treasure and talents in terms of what they can add to the beautiful mosaic of what God is doing in our world. We may not be clear on just how God wants to use us. But that's no excuse for doing nothing. Just jump in, and start doing."

The most important concept of this book? "Perhaps the greatest mistake commonly made by those who strive to help the poor is the failure to see the assets and strengths that are always present in people and their communities no matter how poor they are. They have hopes and dreams, tragedies and triumphs in their lives. They need us to love them first and then listen to them. They need us to see their assets and their God-given abilities. When we see them as God sees them, we will glimpse His image in their faces--Christ in His most distressing disguise."

Old School

2009-04-01T16:31:00.005-05:00

(If you watch this video--half way through 'Artie' stares right at the camera. It cracks me up--in a spooky, kind of stalkerish kind of way. Their harmonies are awesome, by the way.)

As we were driving to soccer practice yesterday, my daughter and her friend were in the backseat when I was asked to put a CD in the player. Hannah picked Simon and Garfunkel.

Then I listened to the girls talk in the back as Hannah asked her friend if she had ever heard of them. She said that-No, she didn't know anything about the band Garfunkel.

"It's Simon and Garfunkel. Two guys sing together. Are they like 80 now, Mom?"

I assured the girls that they weren't quite that old!

Both of my girls like their music--which says a lot! I guess good harmony just doesn't go out of style.

'I Am a Rock' was one of the songs--always reminds me of the importance of relationships, and the risk that's involved. But as they say, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained," or "It is better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all." (Are you impressed with my retrieval of worn out quotes?)

After getting home, I checked out YouTube--and found a few videos. These guys were before even my time--I guess I was 'old school', even back then!

Bonus old school harmony. Seals and Crofts--I saw these guys at State Fair Park with my older cousin and sister-- when I was like 9--it was my very first concert! The highlight--getting salt water taffy!

Okay--I'm feeling a bit out of control. Here is another one. I just like looking at all those 70's clothes and hair. They make me happy for some reason!

Jim Croce--I couldn't find Time in a Bottle, that was my favorite!

I'd love to hear what music takes you back to the land of 'old school.'

Talking at God vs. Worshiping Him

2009-03-30T21:25:00.002-05:00

"Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God."
R. C. Sproul

In my prayer life, I spend way too much time asking God for things. Sometimes I wonder if I view Him more as a 'magic genie in a bottle'--rather than the creator of the universe. Don't get me wrong, God invites us to come to Him--as any child would go to a loving parent. He invites us to share our concerns, hopes, and fears, and He loves to give us good gifts, but...

After reading the following section in the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, I know I need to worship Him and spend more time in His presence in

"awed silence before a mighty, fearsome God, whose tremendous worth becomes even more apparent as we see our own puny selves in comparison."

"Colossians 1:16 tells us that everything was created for God:

'For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him."

Don't we live instead as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones?

We keep on questioning Him: Why did you make me with this body, instead of that one? Why are so many people dying of starvation? Why are there so many planets with nothing living on them? Why is my family so messed up?"

"The answer to each of these questions is simply this: because He's God. He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving. As much as we want God to explain himself to us, His creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us."
Francis Chan

Signs?

2009-03-29T21:37:00.002-05:00

A week or so ago, I posted a few pictures, just to prove to anyone still doubting, (myself--mainly) that spring was just around the corner. It was titled--Signs . Go ahead and click on it if you want to check it out.

Well, I took the same pictures after some white stuff fell last night. That's alright--I still BELIEVE.

Hey, I've lived in Wisconsin all my life. This ain't nothing. Snow storm--May 9th, 1990, anyone?
Mark and I videotaped the snow scene out our apartment window that year--the camcorder was handy since we were constantly filming every spit-up, coo, smile and movement of our 9 month boy. That same 19 year old son is not quite so cooperative anymore when it comes to camera shots!

Anyways--spring came that year--and I have faith it will come this year, too! Oh, by the way--I took these pictures at 7:15--in the evening. Longer days! Yep, this ain't January anymore!

Get Out of Bed!!

2009-03-26T19:53:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite things in all this world is taking a nap on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Why are naps wasted on toddlers who fight it any time they are called to lay their head on a pillow.

Have you ever noticed that children will never-ever admit that they are tired--just ask an adult the same question, and you will probably get an answer in the affirmative.

So now as adults, we can see the beauty of a good nap, and we understand that the kid just doesn't get how wonderful it is to take a break from a busy schedule.

What I am struggling with is not taking naps, but rather getting my tired/unmotivated self out of bed in the morning--early, so I can have that quiet, uninterrupted time with God.

I know God is calling me to set the alarm early--say 5:00, and I know that He is telling me that I will be blessed beyond any measure of blessing that an extra hour and a half of sleep could give me--but still, I hit the snooze a couple of times.

It must be kind of like what I think when I see a little one who fights going to sleep, knowing they are missing out on a real treat. God wants me to trust Him--OBEY--and get out of bed so He can bless me with the blessing of a new day spent with the Creator of the Universe!!

In the meantime, I haven't been obeying, and all of His peace is escaping me.

I'm with Paul when he says, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (romans 7:18b) but with God--All things are possible--Matthew 19:26--even the impossible--turning me into a morning person...

Stay tuned...

Crazy Love

2009-03-25T14:58:00.003-05:00

Check out this video by Francis Chan--a pastor from California who wrote the book Crazy Love. God loved us with this crazy kind of love--the kind of love that sacrificed His son to suffer and die on a cross, so that you and I could have a relationship with the God of the universe.

What would our life look like if we loved God with the same kind of crazy love He shows us every day ?

I want to live the kind of life that's not all safe--one that shows that I love Him by the things that I do for Him--not things that are all safe and easy--but things that take me completely out of my comfort level.

The thing is, that sometimes when I am feeling all strong in my faith, or maybe it's actually that I am pumped up on MYSELF--full of pride, I think I want to do these big things for God.

I tell Him--"Give me something BIG to do--stop giving me all these mundane, ordinary chores every day. I want to do BIG things for you God!!"

Then, when He gives me an assignment, I get all sweaty and nervous, and look for the closest EXIT door to escape from His plan for my life.

The pattern that I see here is that I am just too busy telling God what I want Him to do with my life. How dare I tell the King of the Universe--The Creator of me--the Giver of all my breaths--what I should be doing in this life that He has given to me?

If you haven't read this book yet--Crazy Love by Francis Chan--get it and read it. It will make you think--guaranteed and I am sure I will be posting more about how God spoke to me through it.

One Step Closer...

2009-03-23T22:31:00.006-05:00

We just came home from the Cut-a-thon, which was a fund raiser that we had for our Kenya missions trip. For those of you that don't know, Nora and I will be going to Kenya in July with a group from our church.

Check out the website Karing4Kenya to get a glimpse of the heart of the mission trip. It was exciting for me to get to know some of the members of the team a little better, not to mention working side by side with my daughter.

I guess it just made me excited--and it made the trip seem a little closer. Up until now, it has just been one of those events that seem a long ways off. In fact, Nora and I have been praying about the possibility of going on this trip for two years. As I promised Nora that we would go if God provided the funds, I realize now that I had doubts and a definite lack of faith.

Maybe the reality of it all has just sunk in a little bit, that God willing, we will be flying on a plane, July 20th--destination--KENYA!

Stay tuned--can't wait to see what God is going to do and how we will be forever changed!

Signs

2009-03-22T19:46:00.004-05:00

Awhile back, I posted the picture of the sand hill crane as proof that spring was coming. During the 70 degree days last week, I was completely immersed in Spring--looking forward to all that the season entailed.

The other day, I caught myself complaining to the girls that it was 40 degrees--and COLD. Not long ago, it was 40 degrees colder--try 0 degrees--now THAT was cold. How quickly my perspective can change.

So when it doesn't 'feel' like spring--I still need to look for signs of spring. The signs are the proof--not my feelings.

As I went on a Spring Hunt, of sorts, while my 'feelings' told me we were headed back to winter, this is what I found.

Mark turned on the waterfall. The ice had thawed--and no more worries over frozen pipes--at least during the day!

And then, this in the garden.

Just two days before I took this picture, I went out looking for signs of life--it's like it came to life overnight.

When all seems cold, lifeless and hopeless, I need to remember God is ALWAYS working--even if it is not obvious. Under the ground, behind the scenes--God is working.

Feelings are so fickle--and changable. Rather than dwell on those, I need to look around in faith and see what God is doing around me.

Years ago, my pastor at the time encouraged the congregation to intentionally look for God in our everyday life. He called it a God Hunt.

I have been amazed when I purposely choose to look for Him everyday, I see Him in my backyard, I see Him in the smiles of my kids, I hear Him in the voice of my friend while she is encouraging me on the phone and I see Him in Mark as he sacrifices his plans to accommodate me.

And then I see God in those 'coincidences' that we know are never that--but God's plans.

Want to join me in a 'God Hunt' today? I'd love to hear how He has shown Himself!

I Got The Joy

2009-03-19T22:54:00.003-05:00

I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart

Where?

Down in my heart.

Where?

Down in my heart.

Down in my heart to stay.

I can vividly recall singing that song. I was sitting on the carpet with 20 other chums/guards during AWANA club at East Troy Bible Church. I was so excited to wear my new striped knit shirt, with the purple/big loop zipper that I left my uniform hanging in the closet.

At that point in my life, I felt like my joy came because I was wearing the coolest shirt ever--and I was sure everybody else would notice me and my coolness. Ahhh--Life was good, but the 'joy' that I felt from that new shirt would quickly disappear.

But never fear, I could get it back. All I had to do was go to the Levi store at the mall with my mom and pick out a new corduroy pair of pants. It didn't matter that I had 3 other pair of Levi corduroys already--there were so many colors to choose from, and they were all folded so nicely in those little boxes/shelves on the wall.

(I had brown corduroys, blue corduroys, green corduroys, and maroon!!) Oh, and the little orange Levi tag on the back pockets was the coolest.

That kind of joy was fleeting--and not JOY at all, but a temporary kind of happy feeling.

Joy was the fruit of the Spirit that was covered in my Bible study this week. Each day, a different catalyst of joy was covered. If I would ponder each one in the morning, it seems like it would put everything else into perspective.

I have real joy--the kind that is deep down in my heart--because...

1. Salvation--My name is written in the Book of Life!!
2. God's presence, power and purpose is demonstrated in every one of my circumstances!
3. God is restoring and redeeming me!
4. Joy is the result of 'remaining' in Christ!
5. The fellowship I have with God's people brings me so much JOY!

Back in the day, about 1974, I thought I knew it all. And that striped knit top?? The zipper loop thing broke completely off a month or two later. Now--that was the pits--and not my joy after all.

Fire

2009-03-18T16:41:00.004-05:00

We had a fire blazing this weekend--and it wasn't in the fireplace or in the fire pit in the back. This first picture makes it look as if it was pretty destructive and out of control, but if you scroll down and look at the rest of the pictures, you can see that it was very much planned and controlled, under Mark's watchful eye.

At least once every two years or so, we burn the dead prairie grass/wildflowers in the spring time. Conditions have to be perfect--not to dry, not to windy, but with enough wind to spur the fire on. It requires a little back burning, which Mark describes to me in detailed explanations, that sometimes goes over my head, but keeps the fire from spreading to places that we don't want it to go--ie. our lawn, house, farmers fields, etc.

Fire is a method of removing old prairie thatch. In natural prairie ecosystems, fire not only gets rid of accumulated thatch, it also helps reduce weeds. The old grasses become so thick that the only thing that can grow through it is those annoying weeds. If we didn't burn at least every other year, the weeds would choke out the good grasses and wildflowers that I love so much.

As I was watching the old, dead grass burn, I couldn't help compare it to the work that God does in my life. Sometimes, through hardships and trials, I feel like He is refining me--disciplining me, and I don't really care for it at the time.

But I know I just need to trust Him--God is burning off what is holding me back from being who He wants me to be.

As I watched Mark tending to the fire, making sure it would only go where he wanted it to go and not burn the areas we wanted to protect, I pictured God gently overseeing our trials, only allowing what was absolutely necessary to bring us closer to Him.

Zechariah 13:9 ... I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "

I don't know about you, but one of the things that gets me really excited is to see how our relationship with Jesus so closely mirrors His creation all around us. For me, it's just proof that we serve a Master Creator, who wants us to discover His fingerprints on everything around us!

Movies

2009-03-15T19:37:00.003-05:00

Here is my latest kick: I am on a search to find and then watch really good, quality movies. I mean quality in terms of movies that make you think in a spiritual way and glorify God in the process.

My daughters work at a theater, and because of that, Mark and I have been given permission to watch free movies by the owner. That said, we haven't viewed many movies lately, because there doesn't seem to be many decent movies out there right now.

Friday night, Mark and I watched Flywheel, by the same directors of Fireproof. It was their first movie--acting is a bit stiff, and you can tell it was made on a shoestring budget, but the story line was awesome.

I ran across this trailer--it looks like another positive movie. Just spreading the word...

Pondering Thoughts

2009-03-12T21:40:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure where I came across this list, but I copied it awhile ago and just came across it again. There's just some really good points to ponder. Let me know which one really gets you thinking!

-- Love God more than you fear hell.

-- Once a week, let a child take you on a walk

.-- Make major decisions in a cemetery.

-- When no one is watching, live as if someone is.

-- Succeed at home first.

-- Don't spend tomorrow's money today.

-- Pray twice as much as you fret.

-- Listen twice as much as you speak.

-- Never outgrow your love of sunsets.

.--'Tis wiser to err on the side of generosity than on the side of scrutiny.

-- God has forgiven you; you'd be wise to do the same.

-- When you can't trace God's hand, trust his heart.
-- Toot your own horn and the notes will be flat.

-- Don't feel guilty for God's goodness.

-- The book of life is lived in chapters, so know your page number.

-- Never let the important be the victim of the trivial.

To sum it all up: Approach life like a voyage on a schooner. Enjoy the view. Explore the vessel. Make friends with the captain. Fish a little. And then get off when you get home.

I Want Patience--Now

2009-03-11T20:00:00.007-05:00

Patience is a Fruit of the Spirit. In Friday morning Bible Study, we are working through Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself--Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. I am on week 3--and patience isn't until week 6--and oh, I so want to read ahead and see what she says about PATIENCE. (Does anyone else see the irony, here?)

All that to say that I am not a very patient person--but I want to be, and I want to be RIGHT NOW! In other words, I have no patience for the process of being patient.

I want to become what God wants me to become--NOW. I want to do the things He calls me to do in the future--NOW. I want the hunky-dory relationship with my loved ones--NOW.

And God is telling me--"Be patient, relax and let me work in and through you. It is going to be a process, and in the meantime--stop fighting against me and let me work!"

This picture is a perfect analogy of me trying to do things in my own way and on my own terms, rather than wait on God.

I am trying to blow a bubble. The problem being that the gum was not soft enough to blow that perfect big bubble. I just popped that gum in my mouth a couple of seconds before this picture was taken.

The gum was hard--not pliable and the 'work' of chewing was not yet completed. So this is what happened...

Finally, after the certain amount of time, perfect number of bubblegum (3), and proper work--chews. this is what happened...

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

Retreat Renewal

2009-03-10T14:16:00.004-05:00

The retreat is just the beginning. I could tell you all the details. You know--the "we stayed up late laughing and talking"--"we had an awesome time with the Round Robin visiting rooms Friday night'--"God used the speaker to minister to all of us in different, awesome ways," but I think the pictures below will have to suffice and you can fill in the details with your imagination!

What I am most excited about is the fire that was ignited because of the time that was spent away from home and present with God and sisters.

For me, it's about expanding my Circle of Confidence--and that can only happen when I obediently answer God's call. I tend to think of 'the call' as some hugely, spiritual request from God--you know "You are to become a pastor" or "missionary to Zimbabwe" kind of call.

But our speaker, Donna Jones, explained it was those every day requests that God asks of us. Some may seem small, like writing a note to a friend, getting off the computer and going to bed. There are so many times when I believe that God is telling me to do something--and I shrug it off and don't follow through in obedience. Oh, how many blessings am I missing out on?

So, the fire lit in me is about obedience in the little things--food choices, how I spend my time, do I lovingly communicate with my family in those first three minutes of interaction? Am I living each day--purposely?

I've witnessed a fire lit in my friends that attended, too. A new renewal and strength to love a husband and challenging teen. A passion for God's Word. Pondering God's providence in their past.

One of my roomies spent last night having pizza with two gals she hadn't seen in awhile. As she shared what she learned at the retreat--cardboard testimonies (God is in the transformation business) and the Replacement Theory (We can't just stop something---we need to replace it with something else)--things were shared that had never been shared before. Things that Satan wanted to keep in the dark for shaming purposes.

She called me last night just to share the way God was working and to tell me that those ladies want to go to next year's retreat!

My friend answered God's call--went to dinner for pizza and shared the ways that God is working in her life--nothing complicated, and the CALL didn't even require leaving the continent!

A Sneak Peek

2009-03-08T21:53:00.009-05:00

It was an awesome weekend spent at the Women's Retreat. With all that girlfriend time, not to mention losing an hour of sleep due to daylight savings time, I need to catch up on my rest. Tomorrow I will recap all the awesomeness that occurred, but until then, I will leave you with a picture!

Oh, and maybe a few of those blackmail pictures I referred to in the previous post.

If you would like these pictures taken off this blog, send money in a unmarked, brown paper bag, small denominations. (Hey--just fundraising for Nora and my Kenya missions trip!)

Whaaa WhaWhaaaaa

2009-03-06T08:20:00.002-06:00

I am thankful for God's constant presence. Even as I sleep, He is my ever present help and guide. This morning I woke up with the thought--My words are valuable. How do I spend them? Am I like the 'Charlie Brown Teacher' droning on and on, and pretty soon all my kids, husband and friends hear are. "Whaa WhaWhaaaa".

I need to see the value of my words--pray about them--and spend them wisely!

Today we are off to the 50's Revival Women's Retreat. I am sure I will have some good pics--maybe even blackmail worthy--when I get back!!

Lessons From Biology

2009-03-04T21:23:00.004-06:00

God's creation never ceases to amaze me. The ingenuity that is shown in His creation proves to me that there is an intelligent and creative designer. Hannah brought these creatures to my attention today after she read her Biology assignment.

The blind shrimp and the goby fish are usually found together. They both live in a hole on the ocean floor that has been dug by the blind shrimp. Ocean currents are constantly throwing debris into the hole, so the shrimp has an almost never-ending job of clearing the debris away from the hole. The blind shrimp is put in danger because---obviously, as his name implies--he can't see very well. This is where the goby comes in.

The goby, a fish, has good vision. When the shrimp needs to clear the hole of debris, the goby goes out with it. While the shrimp digs, the goby keeps watch. The entire time that the shrimp is digging, it keeps one of its feelers on the goby. If the goby sees a predator, it signals the blind shrimp by flicking its tail, and they both head down the hole at lighting speed.

That is so amazing, isn't it?

God puts people in my path. I'm the 'blind shrimp'--and they're my 'goby.' They 'see' the hope, when I am 'blind' to what God is doing in my life. They encourage me and allow me to both give and receive in our friendship. Finally, through their accountability, they love me enough to point out the things that I need to change--so I don't fall prey to sin.

Spring?

2009-03-03T05:23:00.004-06:00

No, there is no green to be found in the picture, but that brown bird in the middle is a sure sign that spring is around the corner. Evidence--despite the 15 degree temperature that wants to tell me otherwise. The sandhill cranes are back!! We named the pair 'George and Gracie'--and their baby 'Gertie'. Not sure who this is--but I'll take him/her and hope the rest of the sandhill family will be following.

Stay tuned. Next picture has to have some green in it!

Let it Shine!

2009-03-01T19:24:00.005-06:00

Isaiah 60:1

Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

We are doing a little bit of freshening up on the inside of our house. Mark used the roller extension to paint the cathedral ceiling of our great room--and while he had the ladder out, I decided to wash the overhead fan along with the glass globes on the lights. (Not sure what you call them. But here's a picture.)

The two on the left have already been washed, but look at the grunge on the other one! I bet you can feel an analogy coming on, can't you??

After we put the lights back together, Mark commented how much more light we had in the kitchen and the living room.

Had the power been changed? Were the light bulbs changed for ones with higher wattage? No and No.

The light was being blocked by the dirt and grime on the outside.

Just like this example, our grunge and sin can just get in the way of God's light shining through us.

My desire to allow God's light to shine through me rarely changes, but gradually I can find a "sin build-up"--and before you know it, I'm not doing much shining. Worry is blocking Him-- Anxiety and an overall lack of trust gets in the way-- A little bit of gossip-- Dwelling on some negative thoughts. And oh, does it accumulate.

This picture is downright embarrassing!

Transformations

2009-02-26T20:51:00.012-06:00

At the risk of alienating all those "American Idol Haters"--I must admit that there is something about the show that draws me in each year. For me, it's not even about the music. Good singing definitely helps--but what really intrigues me about the show is the whole "rags to riches" scenario that plays out, almost in front of my very eyes.

Where else can you see someone transform so drastically.

One day, waitress in a small town in Texas. The next...

Then there's that guy. He used to work at Best Buy. I think his first name is Chris. Take a look at him now...

Finally, my favorite contestant for this season. Danny is a worship leader at a church in Milwaukee. God is walking with him every step as he is mourning the loss of his beautiful, young wife.

.

At the core of all of us, I think we want to root for the underdog, the "little guy"--because God placed that desire in us. We love to watch a rags to riches story, because that is what God wants to do in and through us.

Only through God can you see a 'dairy farmer's daughter from Wisconsin' transformed into the daughter of the King of the Universe. Better yet, He has taken a selfish, impatient, worrier with a short temper and adopted her for His very own. Now that is a true fairy tale story.

2 Corinthians 3:18
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Confess With Your Mouth

2009-02-25T19:39:00.003-06:00

Romans 8:8-10

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Confess... In my study today, this question was posed.

At what point in your own life did you publicly confess Christ as Lord?

This made me think. I told my Sunday school teachers of my decision. But then again, when was the point when I really had to stand up for what I believed in an environment that wasn't all that understanding and confirming. Because we all know that it's much easier to share our faith among those who believe exactly what we believe.

So it made me think of the time when I was a sophomore in college. I was living with four friends in an apartment off campus, and for the first year and a half at school, I had walked away from the lifestyle that God had called me to.

Our weekends were spent at parties--and I was trying to push God to the back burner, just temporarily, I told myself. Someday I would get back on track with Him.

Eventually, God broke through my rebellion. I decided to attend Fellowship of Christian Athlete's (FCA) meetings and started hanging around a new group of friends.

Needless to say, my roommates didn't understand the change. They like me better when I partied with them, and we parted ways after that semester.

I needed to explain it to them--and I just didn't have the words or maybe it was more about not having the courage.

I typed up the following words to an Amy Grant song--(yes, I said typed--and the tool was a typewriter!!). I proceeded to tape the words to my bedroom wall. My roommate read it and asked me why I put it there.

To me, the song expressed how I had been living my life--and why I felt compelled to make a few changes. I didn't use any of my own words--but it was my way of making a stand for Jesus.

Here's the lyrics.

I Have Decided

[Chorus:]I have decided
I'm gonna live like a believer
Turn my back on the deceiver
I'm gonna live what I believe
I have decided
Being good is just a fable
I just can't, cause I'm not able
I'm gonna leave it to the Lord

There's a wealth of things that I profess
I said that I believed
But deep inside, I never changed
I guess I'd been deceived
Cause a voice inside kept telling me
That I'd change by and by
but the Spirit made it clear to me
That kind of life's a lie

[Chorus]

So forget the game of being good
And your self-righteous pain
Cause the only good inside your heart
Is the good that Jesus brings
When the world begins to see you change
Don't expect them to applaud
Just keep your eyes on Him and tell yourself
I've become the work of God

Glory

2009-02-24T21:56:00.004-06:00

Psalm 3:3

But you are a shield around me, O LORD;

You bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

This is the new verse I am working on memorizing. I love the part that says He bestows glory on me and lifts up my head. The visual I have is one where I am filled with shame--either because I have sinned or I feel trampled down by this world, or by people in this world.

He lifts my head--and I picture Him gently lifting my chin with His hand as my head hangs and I avoid eye contact. Because my chin is lifted, my eyes meet His--and compassion, understanding and love meet mine.

Instantly, because of the love of my Father, I am given value and dignity. After all, my papa is the King--and more importantly, He loves me unconditionally.

I pray that the "Lifter of Heads" will meet you today--where ever you are.

Startled

2009-02-23T21:04:00.003-06:00

This really cracks me up. Sometimes life--(or sneezes) just takes you by surprise. I tend to be a real, jumpy kind of person. My brothers always got a kick out of popping out of nowhere just to watch me jump out of my skin. Maybe that's why I can relate...

Panda Sneeze

Living Beyond Myself

2009-02-23T07:37:00.004-06:00

Friday, we began our new Bible Study--Living Beyond Yourself--Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit by Beth Moore. In her video, she focused on each word of her title--LIVING, BEYOND, and YOURSELF.

She encouraged us to move beyond ourselves, not living a life focused on "self." Focusing on myself results in self absorption--and nothing else makes us more miserable. She compared this kind of "living" as being in a tomb--much like Lazarus, and she called us to "come out of the tomb of our own natural abilities."

It's such a paradox, isn't it? The world calls us to 'take care of ourselves first' or "look our for yourself--because no one else will'. So different to the life that God calls us to. A life of sacrifice and giving to others. Jesus certainly didn't put himself and his comforts ahead of others as He died on the cross.

"This is the true joy in life: Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." George Bernard Shaw

Whatever is True...

2009-02-21T22:41:00.002-06:00

It's estimated that 10,000 thoughts pass through our brains each day--on days where my mind is on hyper figure-outer drive, I'm sure I surpass that by 9 A.M. (That is if I sleep in past 8 o'clock on that day!!!)

With all those thoughts, it is hard for me to please God in all of them. When I am choosing to obey God, I try to filter them through the standards of the following verse:

Phil. 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

How my day goes is in direct relation to my thought life. What are my thoughts on God. myself and others? Am I dwelling on the verses that tell me that God cares for me, hears my every cry, rescues me and only allows trials and tribulations that will be for my good?

The thoughts that are the hardest for me to take captive involve the relationships in my life. Being an analyzer, along with the tendency to want to please others is not a good combo. So many times, I find myself trying to "read" people or figure them out. In pride, I may think I know their motives and actions better than they do, and then I draw conclusions about why they do what they do. How foolish!

1 Corinthians 13 (The Love Chapter) tells us that love does not think evil of others and believes all things. When I am presuming the worst of others motives and actions, I am violating this principle.

When I follow these verses, it eliminates second-guessing and lots of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. When I presume the worst, then I act accordingly, and I harm the relationship.

So many times I have done this with Mark. Presuming he thinks just the way I do, I jump to conclusions and a fight begins out of nowhere.

What is true? I am trying to accept the words and actions of others at face value. It is not my job to judge whether they are right or wrong--trusting God to reveal the truth to me.

I have often joked that my mind is a terrible place to live. It's been a prison of anxiety and worry, and God is transforming it into a place of peace--resting in Him.

Top SECRET

2009-02-18T22:58:00.008-06:00

A friend of mine told me a secret. I just can't hold it in--so I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else--okay?

Deb, over at "Live...From Ninevah" told me that Baker's Square is the place to go for...

FREE PIE.

Every Wednesday, you can get a piece of pie for every item you purchase.

Buy a cup of coffee--get a piece of pie.
Diet Coke--free pie.
1 cup of coffee and 1 coke--get two pieces of pie.

There you go--my tip of the day.

You know, it seems that there are two kinds of people in this world. 1) Fruit pie people 2) Goo pie people.

My husband falls into the first category, Me? Goo all the way! I really can't understand going into a restaurant that specializes in pie, and ordering a piece of apple pie.

I want the piece--say Snickers Chocolate Cream Cheese Cake or Turtle Deluxe. You know, the kind of pie that when you are half way done with the piece, you feel sick, and you think you will never order that kind again, but then the next time you go on a pie date with your husband you have selective memory loss and go for it again.

I'll never learn...

Last Random Thought--You know how they say that opposites attract? I have found in my informal surveys you usually have one spouse who is good with directions/one that is directionally challenged. Just like you have one who is always cold and the other one is always hot. I wonder if that goes for goo vs. fruit pies, too.

Comment and let me know if you think there is anything to that.

Tearing Down Some Walls

2009-02-18T00:00:00.003-06:00

Today, my girls and I went to the mall. I really like spending time with both of them. They are so different--and crack me up in different ways. Hannah has this "free spirited" personality, with a touch of easy going and openness while Nora is so quick witted--with a tad bit of sarcastic humor that really catches me off guard sometimes, and just makes me laugh.

The thing that I appreciate is that God has worked in our relationships--and is still working. I've had a hard time balancing the teacher/mom role--sometimes it's just hard to know which hat to put on--and most of the time I probably am supposed to wear both hats at the same time. Let's just say that at times I haven't accomplished the tasks very successfully.

So what I would do--the thing that would sabbotage our relationships is that I would correct every thing that I thought needed correcting--and I would do it on the spot.

In the meantime, when that was happening, communication shut down.

So this mom is learning to see her kids as the awesome individuals that God made them to be--rather than focus on the microscopic issues that we all have and that God is refining.

There is still a time for correction--I just had my "correcter" in hyperdrive, working overtime and all it was doing was building really big walls.

Trading Love

2009-02-16T16:54:00.002-06:00

Here's "Part 2" of Pastor Rob's message yesterday.

You know how we freely throw around the word 'love'--like I just love snickers, or I love salty/sweet stuff, oh--and by the way--I really LOVE new york cheesecake chocolate kisses.

(Have you ever tried them???? I always wondered why they started messing with Hershey's kisses--I mean, leave them alone, they're perfect. But those cheesecake ones are a different story.)

I digress.

Anyways, did I get my point across before I started obsessing?

As humans, we throw around the word love like it's a one size fits all. We love our God. We love our spouse. We love our children. We love our new home. We love that brand new car. We love the iPhone. We love the Packers. We love that book. We love Cheetos.

All those things I love because I get something from them. Even Cheetos gives me a momentary pleasure, plus orange fingers, to boot.

The bubbly feelings come--and we love. But how about when those feelings go south--do we still love when we get nothing in exchange?

Pastor Rob called it the "trading love" concept. I "love" in hopes that I will get something back--and maybe I will get back better than I give.

It's like I trade a little league baseball card--in hopes that I may get a Hank Aaron in exchange.

In the trading card analogy, God's love is a tiny bit like getting a Babe Ruth card--and He doesn't expect anything in return.

I am praying for that kind of unselfish love towards others. Giving with no expectations.

Who is My Neighbor/Valentine and What's Love Got to do With It? Part 1

2009-02-15T19:16:00.002-06:00

Pastor Rob had a convicting and "AaaHaaa" type of message today.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "
Matthew 22:36-39

Do I try to justify my actions, just as this man did while talking to Jesus? Do I refuse to love those He puts in my path because I think they don't fall into my circle of influence?

How about that lady at church I have never really met that I refuse to make eye contact with as I walk by?

The gal in Wal Mart who I remember from High School days--what do I do? I have a time crunch so I just keep shopping, never stopping to make conversation.

Or there's that wife of a colleague of Mark's who I have nothing in common with, that I walk by, looking for someone whose values are a little more compatible with mine. Looking for someone who I feel a bit more comfortable with, I write her off because she says a few words I don't say, drinks a few more drinks than I do, and dresses a little differently than me.

These are my neighbors/valentines. The people who God calls me to love.

And as I think about it, these are not the really difficult valentines in my life. The ones who I have a harder time being loving to? Those people who are the closest to me--Mark and my kids.

Pastor Rob encouraged us to examine the following question: What is love? Love, the way God calls us to love, is not based on feelings, but on actions.

When Jesus calls us to love, it is not a command to change our feelings, but to change our actions.

Adventures!

2009-02-13T19:56:00.008-06:00

Mark and I were blessed with another mini-vacation. His work rewarded him with an incentive trip to Boyne Mountain, Michigan. So we just arrived home from a round trip--coach bus trip for two to a ski resort.

Check out these pictures of our daring, adrenaline pumping, heart stopping adventures on the mountain.

Here--we are racing the snow grooming machines on the double diamond. I think I am in the lead on this picture.

We traded in our skis for snowboards here. Once again, I am in the lead.

...

....

......

........

Alright, I've carried on this deception long enough. I have no idea who those daredevils are in these pictures--they were taken from the comfort of our resort room.

Now I'll show you the real adventures that were neither adrenaline pumping or heart stopping, but a little more our speed.

Snowshoein' Geeks!

Sister's Blog!

2009-02-10T01:11:00.002-06:00

My sister, who just happens to be my oldest friend--well, not really my OLDEST, make that my longest friend--even though she didn't have any choice in the matter--has started a blog for the petting farm that she and my brother-in-law will be managing.

I am so blessed to have my sister live within walking distance of my own home. (It comes in handy when I run out of eggs/brown sugar/toilet paper/etc.)

All joking aside--I love her tons.

Check out her blog--she even has a few pictures of my teens holding new baby goats--and let her know that her sister sent you!

CLICK HERE!

Born to Hand Jive--Not to Sew

2009-02-08T21:29:00.003-06:00

Our church's women's retreat is only a month away. 5 good friends will be sharing a room--some I have known for quite awhile, and others for not as long, but they all are treasures!

The friendships mirror the body of Christ--each one has her own gifts and talents, complimenting each other in a unique way. There is also some sharpening going on when we are together--a compassionate ear, but sometimes a good, gentle kick in the you know where.

With the retreat a month away, you may be wondering why I am writing what I am writing right now.

The theme of the retreat is a "50's Revival"--and we all know that that means that there is poodle skirts in our futures.

The trouble is--I don't sew, and either do 2 others in our group. But it's okay--because 2 of the girls are handy with a sewing machine.

Tonight, Jill came over, brought her portable sewing machine and whipped out a felt poodle skirt. That is so beyond my comprehension. In fact, visions--I mean nightmares of ripping out seams for the 50 millionth time, sitting under the tutelage of an equally perfectionistic mom while I attempted making a laundry bag for the county fair, and being required to wear that piece of material that was supposed to be a "shirt" in 7th grade Home Ec.

"You must wear your clothing item to class tomorrow, or you will not receive a grade."
Mrs. Dukiewetz

(I put the smock/tent on in the locker room right before class, took it off right after class, and wore my jacket over it in the hallway.)

So anyways, I am in awe. My skirt is just about done and I didn't hear one curse word out of Jill's mouth the whole evening!

Not sure what I will contribute to the whole 50's Revival thing--but I can blow a pretty mean bubble with my gum, all while sporting a pony tail and saddle shoes--while attempting the hand jive!!

(Check back in about a month for some pictures!)

Imperfect Perfectionist

2009-02-08T00:08:00.003-06:00

As you might have noticed, I haven't been blogging much lately. Some days, I have tons of ideas running around in my head, and days like the past week, I have nothing at all. Not sure why that is. What about you other bloggers... Do you have that same issue sometimes?

This is just another area in my life where I tend to be all or nothing.

I encouraged the ladies in my Bible study group to not fall prey to this "all or nothing" kind of thinking.

For example, I may decide a perfect plan for cleaning the house. I buy all the supplies, put them all in a nice carrying tote, decide the perfect order and plan to clean and decide which days I will do certain tasks.

Then something unexpected comes up--my plans are thwarted and before you know it, I am ready to scrap it all. Sound familiar to anyone else?

Another example. I come up with the perfect way to study my Bible. It involves the right Bible, the right Bible study book, highlighters, notebook and an alarm set for 5 A.M.

First two days, all goes perfect. Third day, I stay up too late, and I press the snooze alarm two or three times, and before you know it, I am ready to scrap the whole "get up early Bible study."

This is the problem.

I am a perfectionist that is not perfect.

And that is definitely a problem, and the reason why I am so "all or nothing." I want to do it perfectly, or not do it at all.

God's not in that way of thinking. In fact, He doesn't expect me to be perfect, and He would much rather me not give up, and do something in a non-perfect way than not do it at all.

So what I have noticed at Bible study is that sometimes we get overwhelmed after a particular rough week, and we haven't completed our study. Then, we may think,"Why should I go to study this week? I didn't do any of the lessons."

Then, next we are not attending study at all because it is just too hard to catch up.

So I have encouraged the ladies in my group to pick up a study, forgetting the days that have been missed, and just start with today.

God knows something that I tend to forget. Life is a journey--it's not about perfection.

The Old and the New

2009-02-04T22:24:00.003-06:00

Exodus 12:13 ...When I see the blood, I will pass over you. This plague of death will not touch you...

I loved reading this verse in my One Year Chronological Bible.

The Israelites were in Egypt--in bondage to slavery, and no matter what plagues God threw at Pharaoh and the Egyptians, their hearts remained hard, until the very first passover.

When I was younger, I always had a hard time melding the God of the Old Testament with the God of the New Testament. They just seemed like different "gods" to me. Also, I struggled to understand the relevancy of the Old Testament with all of its rules and regulations.

Now, I love discovering the connections between the Old and New Testaments--the foreshadowing of grace portrayed through the cross.

So, as I read the verse above--go ahead, read it again...

I realized that God was speaking to me, not just the Israelites of old.

When He sees me, He no longer sees my sin, but because of Jesus's blood--I am righteous and death passes over me! Oh, GLORY!!

Don't you love how God ties the old and new covenant together into one?

And all those rules and regulations in the Old Testament had one purpose--and that was not to get anyone into heaven, but to help everyone in history--from the Israelites to me and you--realize we can't get to God through our own good deeds, but only through the grace of Jesus!

Florida Pics

2009-02-03T23:12:00.005-06:00

Manatees at Weikewa State Park

Kayaking in the rain!

Passenger Seat

2009-02-03T11:02:00.004-06:00

We arrived home last night, and the car trip was uneventful. Unusual might be a better word to describe the journey home from Indiana. I sat in the middle seat with my youngest, while Mark sat in the passenger seat--that's the unusual part!

Mark and the passenger seat are not really on friendly terms--it's not like he has negative feelings toward it, it's just that he hasn't spent much time with it.

This is the same guy that on the way home from Florida, after he had driven 8-9 hours straight, with only a "fill up the tank" stop, finally asked me if I would drive for a bit so he could catch some sleep. After a half hour of tossing and turning, he decided that he wasn't really tired after all and that he could take over again if I wanted.

This is the guy that allowed his daughter to drive over 4 hours--through Chicago--until we finally reached home. Sitting in the middle seat, I realized how much Mark loves his daughter. It would have been much easier, a little less stressful, and probably a bit faster, for him to take the wheel.

She asked to drive--and wanted the experience of driving through Chicago. He decided to give up his "control" to allow her to grow in confidence and skill.

He stayed calm--coaching her through some sticky traffic situations. He's a good dad.

God works that way in our lives, doesn't He? How much easier would it be for Him to take the wheel--take us exactly where He wants us--get us there when and how. He doesn't work that way. He chooses to allow us to work side by side--giving us assignments, which in turn, gives us purpose, and which also develops a relationship with Him.

Gas City and Car Top Carriers

2009-02-01T22:09:00.004-06:00

Just some random thoughts...

In 24 hours, we traveled from Orlando, Florida and arrived in Gas City, Indiana. I think we traded down.

Today--walking around Taylor U. with Kyle giving Nora a "tour", and dropping off Kyle at school and seeing how happy he was to hang out with his buddies again, made me remember the uncertain days of visiting colleges and wondering where and how the details of college would fall into place, just a year and a half ago.

Tomorrow--we visit two more Indiana universities with Nora. She is uncertain about her future, but I know God has good plans for her!

Final very random thought...

When you have a car top carrier on top of your vehicle, it is very easy to remember where you parked it when you have finished shopping at Wal Mart.

My son told me I should leave it on the car always. (I think he has been scarred by the years of wandering around parking lots with me.)

As a marketing major, I told Kyle that his first project should be to market car top carriers as the solution to "I can't find my car in this Wal Mart lot anywhere."

Then we realized that if everyone had a car top carrier, it would be hard to find our car among the sea of car top carriers.

And then we would have to figure out a new solution to my problem.

Anyone have any ideas for my dilemma?

GPS

2009-01-27T19:42:00.003-06:00

20 and one half hours later and a fluctuation of 80 degrees and we are officially in Florida! We left 9 o'clock Monday morning and arrived in Orlando at 6:00. When we driving for warm weather, we don't mess around. All in one stop--gas, potty break, stretch, snacks--6 minutes and back in the car. It is like a pit crew at Nascar. (Slightly exaggerating, unlike my world record.)

We used the GPS--I love that thing. What was life before it entered our lives?

When I am unsure of myself--directionally challenged is one of my weaknesses--I do well when someone or something tells me exactly what to do, just one step at a time.

I could actually drive for a good chunk of time, and Mark could actually fall asleep without worrying that I would take the family to the opposite coast.

I have no problem following one step at a time, and it made me wonder why I have such a hard time following God--one step at a time.

I'm afraid that if I truly trusted Him, I would not hesitate when He tells me what the next step is.

When I am driving, I know my weaknesses. When I am not sure of myself, I am also quicker to trust.

So, is that another problem? Am I putting too much trust in myself, and not trusting God who knows all, sees all, and loves me too? Yes.

Note to self--Trust God, not myself.

Also, we received a blessing from God this morning. When we arrived after driving all day and all night, tired and beat, we decided to try to check-in never thinking they would ever let us in so early. God blessed us by giving us a room--really early. We slept for 3-4 hours and bed felt really good--and then got up and enjoyed our first day of vacation!

Book Review--For the Tough Times

2009-01-26T01:22:00.005-06:00

Have you ever looked for just the right book to give someone who is going through a hard or difficult time in their life. Max Lucado's For the Tough Times--Reaching Toward Heaven for Hope is the one. It's small, only 80 pages which is a plus, as it is not intimidating and time consuming--who needs that, especially when everything is coming down.

I received this book in the mail to review. Although it didn't take long to read, there were many thoughts that left me pondering.

I know I have struggled with the purposes of suffering, but there is comfort in the following Psalm.

When all that is good falls apart, what can good people do?

The LORD is in His holy temple;

the LORD sits on his throne in heaven.

Psalm 11:3-4

Max Lucado writes, "God is unaltered by our storms. He is undeterred by our problems. He is unfrightened by these problems. It is important to recognize that God dwells in a different realm. He occupies another dimension."

My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

If you have ever read any of Max Lucado's books, you know how easily he explains tough, spiritual concepts and brings it down to a level--even I can understand!!

Good book.

World Record?

2009-01-25T23:31:00.004-06:00

I am pretty sure I set a new world record. Friday morning the alarm went off at 7:00 so I could get ready for Bible study. My friend was picking me up at 8:15. I shut the alarm off and got back into bed--the alarm is on the other side of the room, so we have to get out of bed--and not just shut it off and fall back asleep.

Well, I shut it off and fell back asleep.

I woke up--all groggy and all--and the clock read 8:16. Read back a few paragraphs to see what time I was being picked up.

My mind was all confused--and when I realized what planet I was on--and how late I was, I threw some clothes on, brushed my teeth, wet my hair--scrunched it a bit, blew dry it for 15 seconds so it didn't look all flat.

By that time it was 8:20, and thankfully my never late friend was 5 minutes late--I ran outside with my Bible and book bag, and make up case and proceeded to put my make up on as we drove.

So, what do you think? Is that a world record. I am not even exaggerating with the 4 minute time frame!!!

Anyways--the Bible study is a short 3 week book study--Set Apart, Discovering Personal Victory Through Holiness.

The author talked about an exercise of writing 5 adjectives that describe ourselves. This question--Would any of you write the word Holy?--

Most of us wouldn't--but if you have a personal relationship with Jesus--you are!!! Holy, that is. Now it doesn't mean we are perfect--it just means that God now views us through the "Jesus filter." When He looks at us--He sees the one that took all of our sins on His shoulders, paid the price for us!!

We did this exercise as an icebreaker at study. 5 adjectives...

Passionate
Unorganized
Loyal
Stubborn
Determined

Those were my words--notice, I didn't put "early riser" but I should have put "very fast at getting ready" and "HOLY"!

Jesus and Football

2009-01-22T23:22:00.004-06:00

I love it when I see God getting the glory in an unexpected place--how about ESPN. That's the place that usually gives all the "glory" and hype to overpaid, ego-maniacs who think the world revolves around them and the game that they play.

Check out this article about a small Texas community loving on a bunch of teenaged boys who just happen to play football for a maximum security correctional facility. Other than the fact that they have to be handcuffed before they get on the bus, these boys are just like any other teens--they just want to be loved and noticed.

Click on this LINK--and be inspired.

Not a Partypooper

2009-01-21T12:21:00.003-06:00

My mind is blank. I have nothing. Nothing, I say. So I might as well play the "tag" game.

My friend, Debbie, tagged me for a picture game. You are supposed to go to your 4th picture folder and pick the 4th picture. Then, you "tag" 4 people to post their 4th picture.

I have to admit that this is not really the 4th picture from the 4th folder. We are not very organized--even on the computer, so my 4th folder only had three pictures in it. So to be technical, this is in my 5th folder.

Debbie said she would call us a party pooper if we didn't do this--I am doing it, showing you a picture, but I am not tagging anyone else. So, what do you think, Deb?? Does that make me 1/2 of a party pooper?

I am loving looking at this picture today! Oh, the simple beauties of hanging out laundry on a summer day, feeling the sun and the soft wind--black eyed susans. I am summer-sick right now--kind of like homesick but with summer!

God Can

2009-01-20T08:09:00.002-06:00

"I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham."
Matthew 3:9

God can, God can, God can. God can even turn stones into children.

Today, I am keeping my eyes on Jesus and what He can do. I am not going to listen to the voice of the deceiver.

When I focus on the fears and doubts, I act a certain way. Those fears and doubts can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the relationships all around me.

Oh, how my mind can travel to the future of unknown and untrue places. You know, snapshots of disasters and rebellion. Pictures of despair, without any hope.

After reading a chapter in a book by Jill Briscoe, There's a Snake in my Garden, I could relate to these thoughts that Jill had concerning her children. When they entered the teen aged years, she entered those same years with dread and fear.

Instead, she chose to focus on the "God can--". It seems when we focus on God and His endless abilities, rather than the lies of the "snake in my garden", we can live with hope for the future, knowing God is at work.

So, as we think on the difficult situations in our life today, whether it be a relative that has a heart of stone, and refuses to look to Jesus, or an illness that has overtaken us, or a marriage that seems beyond repair--(add your difficult situation to the list...), Let's remember GOD CAN, God can, God can turn stones into children--and move mountains!!

Dashes

2009-01-18T18:08:00.003-06:00

I'm sure many of you have heard of the adage regarding the dates on a tombstone--it's not the dates that are important, but the dash that separates them. The dash is the days we have lived--and how we have lived them. That is what people will remember.

In the message today, Pastor Guy introduced a new dash--

Awake---Asleep

And a new challenge that goes along with that dash--

How am I going to live my dash today?

This is a confession. Some days, I can be very undisciplined. There are so many options.

Should I...
Wash a load of clothes?
Spend a little extra time with my Bible study?
Call a friend I haven't talked to in awhile?
Try to connect in conversation with one of my kids?
Figure out supper now, or later?
Go visit my mom and dad?
Organize the junk bin?

And then-- (this is another confession) I get so overwhelmed and confused, that I do nothing productive.

Too many choices, so I do nothing.

That's when I want God to send me an email, write me a note in the sky--any kind of communication just to give me direction for my next move.

But the problem with not doing anything--is that God just wants me to keep moving--while in constant communication with Him. It's like He is telling me, "Just do the NEXT thing--and then I will guide you to the NEXT thing."

I found this poem--

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.

So today--and tomorrow I want to make that time period, you know, the one between AWAKE and ASLEEP filled with God's NEXT THING.

Convicted

2009-01-17T01:07:00.002-06:00

Titus 3:1,2
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

This is my memory verse that I have chosen for the 2nd half of the month. I chose it because the verse covers a couple of areas that God has asked me to work on. Areas in my life that need to change. God's Word is so good that way, isn't it? Always convicting and instructing.

If you need assistance in remembering verses, check out Beth Moore's blog as she gives a mini-tutorial on memorizing.